Thoughts of a girl in my past.

I wrote her a whole book and she doesn't even know about it. It's filled with the stories of how we met, interacted and eventually, grew apart. It's filled with commentary of the love that I think, or at least thought was so deep that I could have died for her. It's full of my confusion. I really don't even understand where the confusion came from, whether it was from me or from her. Now I'm haunted with memories. I know that nothing I do can make her love me; at least I know that now. I felt like I could have killed myself over her leaving my life, of course, I guess I was confused about that too. Did I even know how much I loved her? Was I fooling myself? It seemed real enough to me but as I live my life without her, I'm starting to think that she wasn't as much as I made her out to be. Moving on is hard but it's not impossible. That's the only thing that gives me hope.

Jun 14, 2012

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  • Ugh, another tragic would-be lover. Do you want applause for "writing a book"? Because if you poured your oh so delicate soul and oh so feverish love into it and then did not either give a copy to her or even INFORM her of it, that's all pure posturing. You're more in love with yourself than you could ever be with "her". Quit moaning to the rest of the world, man the f*** up, and tell her to her face.

  • People like this have no clue what the object of their "love" is really like. When you "love from afar" you project all kinds of qualities onto that person. That's why it's unfair as well as creepy and has nothing to do with actual love.

  • I've been there mate. It'll fade away in time. There are other people out there who will be all that you thought she was to you and more. It's worked for me. Put the book away for a while. You'll be just fine. :)

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