To be outside

It always feels weird. Like I don't belong.
I've always been tired of feeling like I don't belong. Like....I'm different. But no matter what I do, I just can't help feeling like I don't belong.
With my friends, even if they are supposedly my best friends, there is this wall between us. I try to smile and be there with them, but at the same time, I don't feel an instant connection with them. It is as though they are awkward with me and don't want to interact with me sometimes. It really hurts me, because they think that I'm just for jokes. They don't really think that I capable of caring and understanding anything. But I try.
With my family, it just feels...odd. My dad doesn't like me. I've failed him too much for him to love me.

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  • U sound a real fuckup

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