I don't even know what happened to my life
I confess that I'm not working at a Blooming Dales and a Jamba Juice like I tell my parents. I confess that I've been selling my body to men for a lot of money to pay for school and to pay all of my bills. I confess that I'm having a really deep affair with a married man who hates his career and wife. I confess that he told me he loved me after s** one night and it scared me because I know he really means it. I confess that even though I've told him that I love him and I really do. I don't think I love him as much as I let him believe. I confess that I recently asked him for money to pay my rent and am now using part of that money to pay for an abortion. I confess that I've lost 50lbs by throwing up my food and then proceed to tell everyone that I lost the weight by eating right and playing just dance.I confess that I'm more ashamed of being bulimic than I am of being a w**** or an adulteress. I confess that I'm hiding at least 12 very deep secrets from everyone I know. This is not at all what I pictured my life to look like when I turned 18 but from the outside looking in I'm sure all of my friends would kill to be where I am. I once thought about just killing myself for being an awful person but then I didn't because I figured when everyone gathers for my funeral all of my secrets will come pouring out and it they will all be so hurt by me and that's the last thing I want.