I was bullied a lot as a kid

I was one of those kids who had a target painted on his back. I was small, weak, quiet, timid, wore glasses and never stood up for myself. I was an easy target. Just walking down the street people would call me names. After awhile I got used to it. Instead of standing up for myself I just took it or ran and hid. Now looking back I realize I deserved what happenned to me. I don't bear any anger or ill will towards those who made fun of me. My own mother made fun of me. Adults called me names. Younger kids picked on me. The few kids who stood up for me ended up making fun of me in the end themselves. They saw how weak and pathetic I was so I guess they figured what was the sense of trying to defend me when I wouldn't even defend myself. Whenever I got the chance to pick on someone else I joined in on picking on them instead of standing up to the bullies and defending another victim. It felt good to not be a victim for a change. That just goes to show how weak I really was. I blame myself really. I know I can't change the past but I wish I could. I hate myself.

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