What do i do?

I fell pregnant to a guy I've known for YEARS but we were never officially together. When i told him he absolutely freaked out (i totally understand, i did too) i gave him a choice of whether he wanted to be involved or not and he said yes. Then after a few weeks he changed his mind and was really nasty to me.
I found out later from a mutual friend that he was apparently taking drugs cause he couldn't cope with the news. I tried talking to him but he didn't want to know.
I decided id do things on my own when suddenly 4 months later he texts me apologising profusely and saying he's been to rehab. He's been making a wonderful effort and seems so much more like his old self but he is ALWAYS ask me for money. He always has some excuse for needing it and it worries me because he has a well paying full time job. I've started to refuse lending it because he never pays me back even though he said he would. Is this a sign he's still on drugs? I don't know how to tell. He seems normal every other way. I don't want the baby around that kind of thing.
Anyone have advice on druggies? Thaenks for reading.

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  • Keep away from him far away

  • Get the abortion. You don't need a baby with a deadbeat junky. And yes...he is still using.

  • Get an abortion because the father is a junkie? What a ridiculous statement. Besides she said several months later, too far in for an abortion i bet.

  • Yep I've almost finished the pregnancy. I couldn't abort anyway, it's just my personal belief.
    I will raise the baby alone if i have to. His attitude has just been really confusing.

  • Congrats on keeping the baby ub better without that man it wil b hard but u will b ok u wil always b glad u kept ur baby good luck

  • Sorry i meant the last two replies.
    As for keeping my legs shut, it's not like i didn't use protection. Unfortunately it didn't work. And he wasn't a random f***, he was a friend and i thought our relationship had the potential to last. I still think glad does if he can sort out his problems.

  • Thanks to the first two replies. Confronting him seems to be the best way, i just don't want to offend him. And i definitely want what's best for baby, so if he's on drugs he has to prove he's clean first.
    Thanks for the responses :-)

  • Stop worrying about how he will or won't take your questions. He needs to grow up. This child is your number one priority. Your friend is clearly not ready, and that's okay. Maybe someday he will be present. You take care of you and your child. You can't be taking care of two children.

    The drug test is a good idea.His sobriety is non negotiable.And you have every right to know if he is or isn't. And maybe instead of asking, just tell him that he is not to be around you or the baby if he's not sober. If he is indulging to stay away. Period, no discussion, no compromising. And no more money. This doesn't have to be a confrontation. It is just what has to be. And you should ask him that you'd like the money back that he's been borrowing.

  • Thanks for your kind words. I did confront him about it and he's agreed to take a drug test so Im hoping this is the start of him cleaning up his act. I thought maybe he would not like me bringing up the subject but he handled it pretty maturely which is a way better outcome then i expected. :-)

  • He could be still using. If he has a job, why is he asking you for money? Shouldn't it be the other way around to help you with the baby? You can offer him support by talking with him, not by giving him money. That's enabling him. Tell him that the only way he will be in his child's life is sober and clean. Stand firm on that.

  • An addict is going to lie to you to get what they want/need. That doesn't make him a bad person, just an addict. Confront him about it. If he denies then ask if he'll take a drug test. Also let him know that you want to help him!

  • just keep your legs crossed after you deliver this one

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