Just had to share...

Hello. Let's start by saying I am a 19yr old female who is in desperate need for a night in shining armor to rescue me, protect me, and love me....
I come from a very broken home, being the youngest of nine and only two of us have the same father. My mother was a busy little w****. Well growing up in poverty was an oblique existence. I was the little ghetto white girl in class who really wasn't good at anything and was being sexual assaulted by my family. Fallowing what you all are thinking(who ever reads this) I progress to middle school where I was introduced to many new things, Fighting, drinking,partying,and s** with females. During middle school I kept up a 3.6 GPA. but was only there about half the time..The jump from middle school to high-school was quite the adventure, older kids love to party and they sure do know how. My freshman year I got kicked out of two different school for fighting. While I waited to be sent to the next school I spent my days with the rest of my friends who didn't go to school and let's just say they wernt first class citizens. In the blur I remember meeting this older guy, his name was Jimmy. He had just been dishonorable discharge from the army. I was 15 he was 19... one drinking day I come home from some school I don't remember what the name was,he was in my bed and I just collapse moments later I feel him remove my pants and take my virginity by force. Not a month later I was pregnant. He began to beat me and disrespect my family. Who by the way were financially supporting us. After my baby was born he left the state...said it was the best thing for everyone. Whatever. While he was gone I enrolled in to the local community college and got my G.E.D and starter classes. When he came back I got back with him and blew off school. Surprise he left again. I am now 19 and my baby is about to be three, I still have no job,haven't been in classes for almost a year now....I feel the need to abandon my responsibility, just pack a bag for me and leave my baby to someone who know how to be a mom...
I send this out to the world via internet confession that I am at a breaking point and will do everything I can to pull back and be the best for me and my baby. Although having a Knight in shining armor come to rescue me would be amazing , this is not a fairy tale or the imagination of e.l.james so I will just have to try my best and work to not have my baby in poverty... please give me any input you like I would like to hear what anyone has to say.

Jul 24, 2012

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  • the first 2 comments were great! i dont know what to say now because i would just be repeating my the other comments. but one thing stay positive for you and your baby do not pity yourself. yeah you have been dealt a crappy hand but you have to try and make the best of it. and please do not give the baby for adoption no matter how hard it is. my sister did that and she still regrets it to this day. she is so angry with herself. i am sorry for you and wish i could help you so bad. but i cant so i will pray for you and your baby and just hope you find your way.-BEN

  • I think the first poster had the advice part nailed, so I'll just say this. Having class isn't about where you were born or who your parents are or where you went to school. It's about the way you conduct yourself. Keep your nose clean, work hard, act with dignity and grace - show your kid how it's done. Give your baby a mother to be proud of! Not everyone has the perfect Mother thing down straight away - do the best you can and your baby will love you regardless of how she/he came into the World. Find your own place and your own path, work hard at any job you can find and make a new beginning for you and your baby. You don't need a Knight in shining armour, even though you don't know it, you're strong enough to rescue yourself. You can do this.

  • I think you should enroll back in school or try a trade school which you will need in order to find a job to take care of you and your child. You must feel pretty low at times but you can make your life what you what it to be. You haven't given up on your baby, but please give up on the father, he is not good for you. Although, you're up bringing wasn't or hasn't been the best YOU can make a change. Set yourself goals for the next 2 years, find out what your county can do for you for support, maybe help you get your own place. You don't have to continue the cycle. Doesn't seem like your mother had time to prepare her kids for a better future than her own but one is out there for you, you have to believe in yourself. Your child needs you and as a mother you know you can't purchase a childs love, can't by it's smile at your neighborhood market. Things can get better you just have to believe in yourself. You know how to make mistakes but you also know how to do what is best, time to start living for YOUR and YOUR BABIES furture. Wish you the best of luck.

  • That's awful nice of you to say, thank you.

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