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I ** hate the way I feel these days!!!
Life ** ** and I have no idea what to do about it. My mom, my dad, my brother, all dead. My sister, in jail for drugs. I have two sons that lost their mom to cancer last year. I have some waste of flesh ** ** with me over my moms estate and she's been dead less than a year. My wife doesn't understand what it means to have depression and anxiety and she's really the only person that I have to try and talk to about all of it.
Please don't bother with comments about god or head shrinks, been there and done all that. To be honest, all it does is ** me off when I think about all the time that I've invested in prayer and trying to "get help".
** it all, we all live and we all die right? It's just a matter of breathing I guess.
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Sounds like you have a lot on your plate. Sorry for the loss of your family members. All you can realistically do is deal with what you can. You'll have good days and bad days.
Grieving takes time. It doesn't just go away in a day, in a month, in a year..it's different for everyone. But you have just allow yourself to process what you're going through. For some, sure it helps to pray or see a therapist. It's not an instant fix, it takes time sometimes to get to that point where you can let go. Maybe you haven't found the right therapist that you click with. Talking with someone can certainly help as well.
Maybe your wife, just doesn't know how to help or know what to say. The depression and anxiety may need medical attention so that you can truthfully function. Like you said, your wife may not truly understand how depression and anxiety take it's toll on you. If you don't want to see a doctor, then begin to exercise - not fanatically- but exercise can be really helpful with relieving mild anxiety and depression. So can a proper diet, enough sleep and no drugs or alcohol can help.
It's true, remember to breathe. You just have to take it one day at a time and when you feel like crying.. cry, laugh etc.. You can't always be the strong one and it's okay to ask for help when you need it. Everything will work out..