I have a weird confession to make. I like to m********* onto BOILED HAM. It all started when i was a teenager reading a dirty book where they described her v***** as being like two slices of boiled ham rolled up. This image stuck in my mind. I suppose it's because ham is pink and wet like a v*****. I've never dared ask any of my female acquaintances to w*** me off onto boiled ham as they'd probably think i was mad or something.