when i was 13 i joined this new swim

when i was 13 i joined this new swim team, the coach there was a lesbian and 25 and within a year i ended up falling in love w/ her. I couldn't believe i had fallen in love w/ a woman, it was so strange to me. by the time i was 14 i was completely obsessed w/ her, she went to the high school that i go to and was this great swimmer there so she inspired me to become one like her.

we hung out almost every day and she use to drive me home from practice before i started driving. she use to smoke and one day i just grabbed one of her cigarettes and lit it up, she couldn't believe it. she knew that i smoked on occasion when i got the chance but then it just all went from there.

we went to concerts quite often and still do and she buys me alcohol. i can't really remember the first time we drank together but i remember she was the 1st person i ever smoked pot with. i was so in love w/ this woman i didn't know what to do. she use to come w/ me to football games my freshman year and we always use to drink or smoke.

anyway our friendship went on and it seemed to me at times she was crushing on me by the way she use to act around me. i remember this 1 night it was my mother's b-day party at our house, i was 14 and she was 26 at the time, she got drunk and i got drunk and before she left we made out in my driveway. another time after school 1 day we went back to her place cause she use to be a substitute at my school, and we made out in her bedroom, neither of us were under the influence of anything. and probably the most memorable time was this 1 night my parents went to a party and after swim practice we picked up some beer then came back to my place, we got a lil tipsy and started making out hardcore on my couch, i even went up her shirt. she kept on saying how wrong it was but i didn't care, i was in love w/ her. about 1 year later when i was 15 and she was 27 the head coach of my team decided to close the team down meaning i couldn't see her everyday anymore. i was devastated and i told her how i felt in an e-mail about her and all it did was freak her out. she claims the only reason she ever did anything w/ me was because she was buzzed and she felt bad for me cause all this happened after this 1 time my father kinda hurt me. but she told me things couldn't be the way they were anymore an it wasn't right so she told me we needed to stop talking for some amount of time.

the whole first semester of my sophomore year i got bad grades and couldn't think straight i was so depressed. i knew this was the love of my life and she told me we could never be together because of our age difference.

about a month later she gave me a call and asked me how i was doing. i still felt the same way about her but didn't tell her that. she thought i was over her. as time went on we didn't see each other so much anymore cause we were always busy. during the time when i was on the team she was a coach for i couldn't date or look or even touch anyone else because i was so in love w/ her.

time went on an i had a boyfriend for about a month who ended up cheating on me this year. i don't even know why i dated him, i think i was just h****. but, no matter who i thought was hot or who i dated, i always knew deep down in my heart she was the 1 for me. we still see each other quite frequently and we even went to a concert friday night. but after doing so all the harsh crazy feelings came back to me and i had flashbacks of being w/ her and all the good times we have had and now i can't stop thinking about her again. the feelings are always there but it's just when i hang out around her they become more and more. she's like a drug i can't get enough of and all though i know the best thing for me would to never see her or speak to her again so i could maybe get her off my mind just a little bit...i can't do it because i love her so much and i know this is the love of my life.

even though i am now 16 and she is 28 i know that if i could be with anyone in the world it would be her. she makes me laugh so much and i know she would never do anything to hurt me and she will always be there for me. she is the only person in this world i trust 100% and i would seriously give my life up for her if i had to for her to live. i know that this is my one true love because when i first met her i did not think she was good-looking what so ever, i only liked people who were hot/sexy/ w/e! after hanging around her i couldn't believe what i saw but she was beautiful to me. It didn't matter to me if she gained 300 pounds, i still loved her, and i still do.

would someone tell me if they think this is true love...or am i just crazy?

2 Comments

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  • The woman molested you, if your story is true. You are a kid, so go be a f****** kid, and stop trying to be grown!

  • You're just crazy. You are too young to know what love is. She is your first crush, and your hormones are gone wild. Like you said, you're just h****, and wanted to feel what it would be like to be with her since you got it all worked up in your head. I bet the moment you go on to college, or stop seeing her, you're going to forget about her, and once you're in your 20s and meet more people, you're going to realize how crazy you were for thinking that way in your teens.

    Enjoy your life, every moment of it, and stop stressing over issues that you shouldn't worry about now. There's more to life than finding "the one true love," and you will be able to see that once you mature a bit more.

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