I would

I think that the reason my boyfriend is afraid to commit to someone is because he knows that he will probably have to take care of his mentally handicapped brother when his parents can't anymore. What he doesn't know is that the fact that he is willing to do that makes me love him so much more.

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  • Shouldn't you be telling him that? I would think someone facing that situation might be comforted know that they won't face it alone and that you're willing to share his responsibilities with him.

    Now, the trickier part. He may also be unwilling to commit out of fear that he will pass whatever gene caused his brother's disability on to his children. Before discussing any of this with him, it might help to understand the genetic risks of your BF having children.

  • I don't really think I want children anyways, and his brother's disability isn't genetic. We haven't been together very long and I feel like telling him that would be a little less on the supportive side and more on the clingy side. He has issues with relationships and we are supposed to just be "keeping it fun". He is leaving for a few months soon and I am trying to hide how much I am going to miss him.

  • Same person from earlier post here...

    I think if you want to be with this guy, then you should tell him what you think. If he has issues with relationships, then it's not like it's going to make things worse. It might speed up the inevitable end, but if what you say is correct about his view of relationships, then the end of yours with him is an inevitability anyway. Unless you think you'll be happy just never moving past where you are now.

    Have you considered the possibility that he says he doesn't want relationships because he assumes his family issues will make his relationships impossible.

    I went through numerous relationships before a friend finally told me a really simple piece of relationship advice - if you're uncertain about something in your relationship then you should tell the other person. If you know what they will say then you're not uncertain, you just don't like what you know their response will be. So, either you validate what you already know by telling them or you find out you were wrong. In either case, you're no worse off then before.

    If you think about it, it makes complete sense.

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