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Just is
I'm tired. I feel like I lasted too long. I feel like that thing growing in the container that's at the back of the fridge, left too long in the cold and dark. I've turned ugly, smelly, and altogether revolting. No one wants to be around when the lid comes off. Just the smell of the rotted inside is enough to make anyone ill.
Use it as a weapon.
At one time you were probably a very gentle, sensitive person. The world is not kind to people like that. Humans are much more like animals than they want to believe, and will attack what they perceive as weak with or without conscious thought. Then they wail and cry that there aren't enough sensitive, good people anymore. Tale as old as time.
So now that the change has been made, "pay it forward!" People love that phrase. Use it against them. Give back what the world has given you, plus interest! It needs to pay for ruining what it needed so badly.