Things I will never be able to say to you.

CS ~ I told you my silly crush on you was over, that how I feel about you is just a deep care for a friend. While we are friends and I do care a great deal about you, I lied because I think I still have feelings for you that I shouldn't.
I had to lie to you though, because I know too well how complicated this could be if we let it. I want you to make things better with your wife, because despite what you have said, I know you love her. She is beautiful and kind and together have made your son (who is going to be exactly you when he grows up) And despite what she said, I think/hope she must love you (how could she not? you are wonderful, I just wish you could see how great you truly are).
I am secretly relieved we aren't in classes together this year, because as excited and happy as I was in our moments alone I am not over analyzing the nuances, gestures and words exchanged anymore. Though admittedly, I miss you so very much some days.
I want so badly for you to be happy. In the time I have had the joy of knowing you, when you are in a great mood and feeling happy (even with your sarcastic asinine comments) the warmth and laughter from you is so contagious.
Be happy my friend and know you are loved.

Oct 13, 2012

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  • ...But just leave me the f*** alone in future.

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