Extremely embarassing

This is so embarrassing even to write it I feel just a mountain of emotions. But for the past year or so I have been eating food from the trash. I can afford food. Its not like it is a matter of survival. I honestly don't know why I do it. It started about a year ago and honestly I don't even know what possessed me to do it. I was working in a restaurant and clearing tables where the food had not been touched and I was hungry and didn't want to waste it so I ate it. Then it started getting deeper. I would actually go through dumpsters behind restaurants and bakeries and eat food from their dumpsters. It was like a force stronger than me. It got to the point that when trash day would come I could not run my neighborhood because I would go through peoples trash. I feel like a total freak. I don't know why I do it. Some days are better than others but I wish I could just stop all together.

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