To my baby boy Mommy misses you!
I held you to my breast when you were born I gave you all I could. You were and always will be. Mommy misses you so much. You were only five months old when you were ripped away from me.I fought long and hard to get you back but in the end I could no longer fight I saw that you were so happy with the family you were placed with I loved you so much I let you go. I never will stop loving you it broke my heart to do so.I was there when your adoptive mother and father adopted you I signed the adoption papers and went to the court house when you were adopted away from me. I saw while your were with them as your foster family how much love you had for them and how much love they had for you it was hard for me to say goodbye! I wanted you from start to the end but things did not work out the way I wanted. It hurts so much now you are gone but I know in my heart it was the best thing i as a mother to do for her baby boy is to let you be with your mom and dad who love you as much I do.My heart aches for you I cry at night still feeling how I held you when you were born. I still feel faint movements when I was caring in my womb. I still see your smile hear your laughter hear your cries at night during the day I pray the pain will go away! I love you so much and you don't know I am here. I want to tell you every thing from the day I gave birth to you the day I took you home the day you started to hold your head up every thing! I wish I had never lost you I wish I could hold you in my arms again!MOMMY LOVES YOU AND ONE DAY YOU WILL KNOW! I am going to find you find tell you every thing how you got taken how you were adopted how your father lied to get you taken away i will tell you the whole ugly truth of what really went on when they took you away and why I am not in your life! I will never stop looking for you I will never stop loving you! I hope find away to listen to me and forgive me for letting you go! For I can never forgive my self i did not fight harder for you. It broke my heart to hear you call them mommy and daddy when we had visits. You did not really know who I was or why you had to see me the visits were vary h****** you!They decided after you were adopted that it was best to stop the visits so now I can't see you any more! I love you and will find you!