New Year's Resolution
You've had long enough to have done it on your own, your way, and you haven't done it. So, after the first of the year, after you've finished with your s***** little Norman Rockwell family farce, and the holidays have faded, and your in-laws have gone back to wherever the f*** it is they live, I'm going to make our relationship public. Very public. I'm tired of being the cheap piece of ass you keep on the side (on Christmas Day, I will have been on the side for exactly one year, so it won't exactly be a happy anniversary), and so I'm going to let your wife know about me. About us. And I'm going to let your children know, too. If you haven't done it by then, I'm going to wreck your family. And then you won't have an excuse anymore for not moving in with me. But even if you don't move in here, you won't be able to go home again. Ever. Trust me: if you don't handle this yourself, it isn't going to be pretty. You know I'm not bluffing: I always get what I want.