Memories of abuse that are returning

I am now in my 40s and am slowly remembering something that happened to me when I was much younger.

My sister and I were taken to a babysitter before and sometimes after school after my mother died -- this continued until my father remarried -- in what I have realized now was a very dysfunctional family. I knew for several years that my sister was abused there -- she told me -- but I only remembered that at the time, I felt afraid every time my sister dropped something and was "disciplined" -- and then taken to an upstairs bedroom.

For some reason, I am not sure why -- suddenly I started getting flashes of memories of the woman of the house getting me to lay on top of her or her getting on top of me in her bed upstairs. I remember her wanting me to get hard for her and getting frustrated because I did not so much (I was perhaps in 4th grade?) It is like the image is all fuzzy -- I cannot see her face so clearly -- only part of her body.....

I have had a fairly normal s** life -- been a good father, etc. I have always had a very, very active s** drive and fantasy life. So I don't think this has affected me in the same way it did my sister -- who continues with many scars from this time.
I am not sure what, if anything, I can do with this information -- I tried to search for the family online just out of curiosity to see if their abuses were ever discovered by law enforcement. Nothing found. I am not sure why, after all this time, I am remembering it in pieces......

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