Okay, so there's a girl that I'm in

Okay, so there's a girl that I'm in love with. However she has a boyfriend. She says she loves me back, she just doesn't want to be with me because she doesn't want to make her boyfriend sad (her boyfriends a high school drop-out that does drugs, lives in his parents basement, and neglects her, when I first began talking to her, she was very depressed with everything about him) So we became friends and sorta eventually discovered that we had feelings for one another. So we sorta began having a bit of a secret relationship, though not really secret because her boyfriend knew about me. She's said herself she'd rather be with me, she's just afraid of what her boyfriend would do to her or me. So today I told her that I wouldn't make any more advances and we'd just be friends until she was all happy with things. Whether that meant dumping her boyfriend or staying with him. i just want her to be happy...did I do the right thing?


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  • just got an email telling me someone had responded to this. I posted this years ago. Thanks for the comments people. Things have luckily worked out for me. I've moved on and that chapter of my life is over. Miserable times, but those are gone now and life is good.

  • Dude,
    You need to move on. If she would settle for the "lives in his mom's basement" guy, she is emotionally lacking. Is that what you want?

  • Yeah, you did do the right thing. It is not your place to tell her to break up with her loser boyfriend, she will have to come to that conclusion on her own. I do think that you should not be sitting around waiting for this girl either though. Sure, you guys can be friends, but you have your own life to think about, and your own happiness. Are you content with waiting? If so, by all means wait for her, but what if she just stays with this guy forever? Where does that leave you? Also, I just want to say that you or her should not be decieving the boyfriend no matter how messed up he is. She needs to stand up and be a woman and break up with him because she is having an emotional affair with you! Is the boyfriend abusive? If not, why is she so scared of what he might do, I mean isn't it worse living in constant fear of someone, and letting that fear control your life than to take a risk? Maybe you guys can get a restraining order or something if he is abusive. I think you sound like a really good guy, just don't sell yourself short okay? Good Luck!

  • yeah you kinda did but just wait for her and if she dumps her bf ask her out and tell her not to be afraid of her bf

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