Personality disorder

I am 23 years old and I am pretty sure I have AVPD. I can't bring myself to do anything about it though because that is part if what the condition is. I do have a few friends I can talk to, but I don't want to inconvenience them with my problems. I spend so much time building up a fake front for people to see I dont have anytime left to deal with my real issues. Talking to a professional sounds like a good idea, but I don't trust people easily, so I wouldn't be able to open up to someone new, especially since I can't talk with my closest friends and family.

The only time I feel some what comfortable around new people is with my brother because u feel that they have to like me because they are his friends and don't want to upset him. My relationships usually start online do I can get a sense of who a person is before meeting them. I want to know I will be liked before meeting someone to avoid disappointment.

I lie awake most nights thinking of stupid things I've done in the past and how people judge me for them, even if there is a good chance they don't remember the event.

I feel ashamed to feel the way I do, but can't bring myself to get help. I have no one to blame but myself and it sucks.

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  • You have to take a step back from yourself and look at things logically. You have to say to yourself "who really cares what I do or how I look?" "What will really happen if I look foolish or am rejected?" Will you stop breathing? Will everyone you pass in the stree tlook at you and start laughing? The only who can change your habits is you. In the greater scheme of things no one really cares about you but you. All the things you worry about don't mean anything to anyone but you. You just have to say "F*** it!" Know what I mean?

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