I have secretly ruined the lives of pretty much everyone in my entire life. I have spat on every opportunity I've been blessed with, and laughed when I got away, and now I lay here sleepless stuck in my web so thick, I almost literally can't breathe... I don't know how I will ever forgive myself. I just wish he knew how sorry I really am, and I wish I could take it all back. Suicide is the only, ONLY way I feel I can "make it up" to them. Instead of insulting them more and more every day, I'm starting to really... get dangerous.. I hate myself.