My best friend's to-be-mom-in-law wants me
Mrs N lost her hub almost the same time my mom died leaving me without a parent. She's the mother of my bff's girlfriend. Their family: 5 girls(aged 25 to 12yrs) n the mom. I love them like my own sisters n mother. They also treat me as the family's eldest son. So me n my friend B spend most of the time with them. B chats with his gf while i do stuffs as a big bro with the rest of them. Things went smoothly n they filled the gap in my life left by my parents. I'm 26(the only child) n mrs N is 46. I'm the kinda guy who dislikes being sentimental or touchy-feely but not in a mean way. It's just my nature. But i got so attached to them that i let go of my inhibitions. Sometimes i lie beside mrs N n she would massage my hair n talk about her problems n family stuffs. She would always say her family has changed n life has become normal again cuz of me n their home is alive n cheerful like those days when her hub was around. We met for the first time around 6 months after her hub died. But soon mrs N started behaving strange. I didnt realise or suspected anything at first. She'd follow me around the house n always hold my hands n touch my face, my lips. Sometimes slide her hands along my shoulders n back. One day she was crying lying sick in her bed n i laid down beside her, took her in my arms n hold her to make her stop crying. I told her we all r here for her n gently kissed her forehead. It was meant to be a mother-son moment for me. But she had other ideas. She saw her hub in me. After that day everytime i got close to her she'd hold me tight n never let go for minutes burying her face on my chest sobbing n breathing heavily. Gradually it got awkward as her face always rubs mine running her fingers along my lips n i got aroused when i felt her warm breath on my neck. After all i'm a guy. It was really uncomfortable when the girls were around. My friend B jokingly said u guys look like a couple n it's weird sometimes. Then I started wiggling out of her hold pretending to do something or talking to the girls. She'd call me every night n share her stories about her hub, discuss family matters n her emotional needs. One night she called me up drunk n confessed everything(i was afraid she'd say that). She told me i was very much like her hub in character n the way he cared about her. Said she needs me emotionaly n even more physically. She knows it's inappropriate but cant help wanting my body next to hers. I told her that i can understand her feelings after losing a husband n wanting to be loved again but i love her like a mom, so she should try to let go of that thought n love me as a son. Next few days she apologised to me n told me that she got a little carried away cuz she was drunk. I was relieved. But then she couldnt control her emotions n started behaving like before more intensely this time. She even tried to kiss me but i turned away. I dont wanna lose her n the girls cuz i love them so much n wanna support them in every way like education or work or anything! The kids see me like a bro-dad figure. But it's getting really difficult to be with them while mrs N keeps on approaching me like a teenage girl having a deep crush on an older guy. I try to avoid her but whenever no one's around, she keeps on touching me or holding me. She says holding me is the only thing that keeps her pain away. I dont know what to do, i tried to talk some sense into her but in vain. I havent told anyone about this for the sake of her n the kids. Even my best friend has no idea. I cant stop seeing them as my friend is in love with the 2nd daughter n if i stop going there they'll be upset especially the youngest 2 girls who look up to me as a dad. I feel guilty whenever i look at them. She doesnt want others to know but cant stop longing for me. What should i do? She suffers from depression too. I'm afraid if i lose my control i might give in to her desires n that would be a big disaster. I want her to love me as a son like before but she admits she's slowly falling in love with me. I have a girl who likes me but lately we've grown apart cuz i'm preoccupied with mrs N n the girls' problems (financially n emotionaly). I dont wanna lose them but i cant also act like the guy who secretly has affair with their mom. I hate it, i feel like a perv. I'm confused n there's nobody to talk to. So i'm confessing it here just to see if anyone can give a suggestion.