I want to watch my girlfriend use the bathroom
I've been looking all over the internet for places to vent and discuss this issue I've been having. Let me preface what I confess by saying that I am deeply embarrassed by my fetish.
I am aroused when a girl pees or wets her pants. Similarly if she poops or poops her pants. Farts also arouse me, anything 'inappropriate' digestive sounds for that matter.
I really wish I didn't have this fetish because I feel people view it as the sort of thing a creepy 40 year old man with a mustache would be in to. I'm in my 20s, male, tall and handsome and overall a remarkably normal and well adjusted person. Despite it all I just can't help having this kink. When I try to ignore the arousal it can bring me I actually seem to become more sensitive to being aroused by it. Its quite frustrating.
I can pretty much identify in my childhood where the fetish came from but its a long story so I'll skip it. Suffice to say it has to do with feelings of shame and embarrassment.
I'm hetero and the fetish pretty much only goes for female toilet activities, but having said that graphic bathroom situations with men make me anxious when I'm in public company. When I was a kid that laxative scene in Dumb and Dumber made me very uneasy and I wasn't quite sure why.
The fetish becomes unbearably difficult to resist if the woman is desperate to go and risks having an accident. Whether its hopping up and down from needing to pee or clutching a noisy stomach that is craving a p***, either scenario instantly snatches up all of my focus and thoughts. It makes me feel ashamed just how much I can't resist.
I told my GF recently about the fetish and THANK THE GODS she does not judge me or think less of me for it. I feel relieved I can be open with her about it. She feels the fetish is fairly tame and harmless yet she is, ahem, less than thrilled at the thought of 'performing'. LOL. I love her, so I'd never ask to her to anything she is uncomfortable with. I'm just glad I can be honest and not have to hide this anymore. Its like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
The fetish also has a few related kinks that I should mention. I love when my GF knows that I need to go badly and I really, really love it if she plays with my abs while I'm having a bout of gas/p*** desperation. It also gets me hot if she presses her ear to my stomach to listen to me while my guts rumble and churn. Basically what gets me off is the sheer embarrassment of the entire thing. The childhood trauma that probably caused this whole fetish involves being judged and mocked for needing to go, so knowing that someone, my GF no less, is listening intently when I'm at my most vulnerable, and that she isn't even remotely disgusted is a serious turn on for me and an emotional bond. Its catharsis for very old, traumatic fears from childhood.
I would also enjoy my GF watching me use the bathroom to p***, mostly for the same reasons above, that its a very embarrassing and vulnerable moment. Its like that exercise where people catch you when you fall blindly off a ledge. If I can trust my GF to watch me do that and still have her find me sexy and not think of me as gross its like the ultimate level of trust I can possibly have in a person. Understand, I have deep, deep feelings of shame tied to peeing/pooping so being able to share in that with someone I love is a truly liberating experience for me. I have yet to actually have her be in there with me though, mostly because I don't want to pressure her or gross her out. The last thing I want to be is selfish even if it is for personal growth.
Moving back though, I get aroused when girls need to pee or p*** mostly because for the longest time girls seemed unrelatable to me. They always seemed clean, smelled nice, looked better than guys and they "didn't p***". I was filled with self loathing that I had to p*** during childhood and I resented that girls apparently didn't. It wasn't until I grew up that I learned that girls did in fact p***, only that it was a guarded secret.
I like to watch girls p***/pee not because I feel as though women should be degraded or humiliated, although I admit the need to use the bathroom is embarrassing. Its mostly because to me it makes women more human and relatable on a deep level. I love women and have a deep respect for them, but I simply can't help my fetish. At times it makes me feel like a hypocrite getting off on seeing a woman do something kinda degrading because I consider myself something of a feminist in life despite being a guy.
Anyway, thats my confession.
QUESTION for girls out there: Have you ever had a desire to watch your boyfriend p***? Or even just had a curiosity about him using the bathroom? If you were listening to your BFs stomach noises and heard gas/rumbling would you be disgusted?
God, I just reread this whole thing after typing it. Despite the fact that its all true I feel like such a weirdo! At least I'm being honest, I guess!