I didn't mean to hurt her...

I'm seventeen and I guess I have an anger management problem, because if I get mad about something and don't get it off my chest the right way it just builds up and gets worse.

Anyway, I was a little worked up at dinner yesterday, and I guess my mom noticed. She hates it when I won't say what's bothering me, so when I refused to tell her, she sat down next to me and wouldn't leave me alone until I told her.

This made me all the more determined not to let her think that her persistence would get me to talk, as I really didn't feel like she'd understand. See, the thing is, she never takes things in the right proportion. She makes mountains out of molehills, but when I bring up something serious, sometimes she just trivializes it and I HATE trying to talk to her.

So, I managed to sit in silence for almost 10 minutes before she got angry and forced me to say something. Even then, it was tough choking anything out, but I started talking. The whole "discussion" was completely against my will, and it was a mistake from start to finish. I told her that in the first place, but she wouldn't listen. She wouldn't let the matter rest, so I finally let her have it. I told her what I was really thinking. And it made her cry.

I felt horrible seeing my mother upset, but on the same token, she was the one who insisted on talking to me and I only told her the truth. I know, I know, please don't slap my wrists, I know my mother is only trying to help. Believe me, I went to bed crying because I really didn't want to bring that stuff up. But gosh, I really didn't want to tell her she was the problem!

My older two siblings wound up a suicidal bulimic and a pot-smoking wastrel(respectively) so I know my mom just wants to keep me from winding up like them. But how can I explain that there are just some things that don't need to be said?

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  • I suggest you read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". Even though it's a book about relationships I think it will help you understand why you need to try to solve problems on your own before asking for help and why your mother, as a woman, has a hard time understanding that.

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