I'm awful...

Well I've been with my boyfriend for 3 months now, 3 very very wonderful months, we've always had an open and honest relationship, we've had small minor disputes and tiny spats but 3 days ago my computer broke and I was talking to a guy friend of mine, I hadn't talked to him in ages! And my boyfriend had been gone 24/7 for about 2 weeks and so was his brother of whom I have a very nice and healthy friendship with. So I was all by myself and my other friends went and left me for their boyfriends so basically I'd been ditched. Well my boyfriends brother went and looked in my mail and saw I was talking to my guy friend! he went and called up my boyfriend then told him about it! So when my computer was FINALLY fixed yesterday I went and checked my email and my boyfriend was blowing up at me saying how I was cheating, how I was a bad girlfriend, how I hurt him etc when his brother went through my private and personal mail! My boyfriend is very possessive of me and does NOT under any circumstances like me talking to other men. He prefers it when I'm at home just talking to him and him alone. Otherwise he gets mad at me and doesn't talk to me for hours and hours on end. He said he loved me this morning I don't know if I should believe it or not. I feel like it's my fault although I did plan to tell him...I really don't want to lose him he's my everything and a day without him is just too awful to think about.

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  • Would you all just STOP!!! He has forgiven me and I have forgiven him!!!! We're totally fine now!!!! He's not psycho, he's not possessive!!! Oh my gosh!!!!!!! My boyfriend and I are. FINE! Other guys can back me up would you want your girlfriend talking to other guys? or your boyfriend talking to other girls?? my guess not so much! We HAVE worked everything out!!!!! Please just stop!!

  • I'm glad some guys understand....I'm his first relationship and things are MUCH better now. We even plan to get married soon. He's NOT a bad man!!! He's a very very sweet, loving and adoring man that I would die for....and he'd die for me. He's a good hearted Christian man like I'm a Christian woman and we're just happy to have one another....

  • You are great girl.i also like your b.friend i also dnt like my girl talk to another man.hey if you want reply just reply me at shivamyadav667@gmail.com

  • Well things have been worked out I am now free to talk to other guys as I please and we've settled this whole dispute. I can't believe this made top confession :$ but we've gone back into being the happy couple we always were. He said he was sorry and we made up and that it was never going to happen again...plus he knocked his brother upside the head for hacking my mail. So ik things are good again. So now I'm back to being his boo instead of just Cassidy so that's how I know things are better. Now we talk everything out and discuss it openly and in a very friendly environment. Thanks guys. Also John is a very sweet and loving Christian man...his parents had a lot of affairs in their marriage and turns out he was just scared I would cheat just like they did. That was all.

  • "This" is only "settled" until next time. You're kidding yourself if you think the problem is gone.

  • Get over yourself! Are you God to know what happens in the future? No, so shut up. You are just jealous that other couples worked over their problems and your romantic life is a joke. Grow up.

  • "He prefers it when I'm at home just talking to him and him alone. Otherwise he gets mad at me and doesn't talk to me for hours and hours on end." This guy is a clearly a control freak and those guys don't get better. They aren't going to "work over their problems": he's going to be who he is, and next time she disappoints or disobeys, he'll be worse. The time after that, he'll be worse, still. And the time after that, he might well kill her. It's not foreseeing the future: it's understanding the virtual immutability of human nature. She needs to get out. And YOU need to get over YOURself.


  • This So - Called Boyfriend has Massive problems ..Possessive? ..You're Not Kidding . Sorry , this is B/S , you dont access Individuals private mail and Say that you .." Can Never Ever Speak to another Male " ..Seriously ..P*** HIM OFF , the guy is beyond a Physio , he has major problems . He Will get Violent , this is NOT natural . No Choice ..GET RID OF HIM .

  • That's not like him at all...my boyfriend is extremely sweet and would never hurt me physically. Whenever we get into fights he calls me by my first name instead of by the pet names he has for me :/ but now after this fight he says it's hard to trust me completely but I've told him over at least 20x's that I was going to tell him. The hugs and kisses are sweeter than anything in the whole world but....idk. I really am in love with him and Ik he loves me.

  • Okay, you're not ready to see the bigger picture here. And that's fine. If one of your close friends told you this same story what advice would give your friends? Or have you told your friends what happened? Usually your friends and family can see things that you can not because your blinded by love. Just be smart about this..he's your boyfriend. A relationship is not about control and you're not his possession. So again, just keep your boundaries clear.

  • If he actually loved you -- by any true meaning of that word, "love" -- he wouldn't treat you like he's treating you. The caution and warning expressed elsewhere are totally correct, and you need to end the relationship: this guy is trouble.

  • This guy is just insecure, that's all. He doesn't sound to be violent, why are other women so defensive against all male imperfections? Would you like your boyfriends talking to other girls? Grow up ladies, you don't know everything about everyone. Give the guy a break, because he sounds like he loves her, but is just a bit insecure because of what happened in his family.

  • Not long before he starts throwing you down the stairs for wearing something 'revealing' and then saying he's only doing it because he loves you so much

  • I've never given him a reason to distrust me I've always been supportive and been there for him when no one else was. So basically I've been the perfect girlfriend since I met him in May. I just don't know what to do!! I love him so very much and to lose him?? That'd just be too much...

  • You don't necessarily have to give him a reason for him to react the way he does. He could just be wired to be over protective, possessive and jealous..and so any little thing will set him off. You're probably not the only girlfriend he has reacted this way to. And most likely, there's nothing you can do or say that will change him. He has to want to change his own behavior. Don't blame yourself. The worse thing is to be in a relationship where you feel that you have to walk on eggshells. That's not okay, and it's not normal. You also need to set some healthy boundaries for yourself. Don't get so wrapped up in this relationship that you no longer have friends or sacrifice your own happiness and independence. Really think this through.

  • Leave the guy as soon as possible.

  • Run from this relationship! It won't get better, it will just get worse. He doesn't trust you. Talking to a guy friend doesn't mean you're sleeping with him. The same as if your bf was chatting with a female friend of his. He should trust you, and he doesn't. Unless you've given him reasons to question your trust. This relationship is new. Look at the reality of the situation. He is insecure and doesn't have the right to tell you who you can and cannot talk with or be friends with. This is a potentially dangerous situation with disastrous consequences. You don't need to be with someone who is controlling, possessive and jealous..He sounds unreasonable. How long before he hits you? or has he? Seriously, leave. 3 months is not as long as 3 years. And if you don't leave now, you may not have the guts to do so.

  • Just because he didn't want her to talk to other guys doesn't mean he would hit her. Stop acting like you know everything. Because you're just a clueless little t***, and you know what the guy is actually like, only the OP knows.

  • f*****

  • This comment is 100% right. Do what it says.

  • I agree. Relationships like this almost always end badly...or worse.

  • And by the way, you are so totally NOT "awful", and you shouldn't refer to yourself that way. Be well.......

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