verrrry confused......

ok so a couple fridays ago i met some buddies for drinks after work and while i was there i met this tall brunette. i was straight upfront and told her i was married and had kids but she said no prob and we drank and talked and danced for a couple hours. she invited me back to her place and i admitted i hadnt ever cheated before but she said she was clean and discreet and we would go slow. we went to her apt. and got in bed and kissed and laid together in the dark before i started taking off her clothes and when i did i realized that she was a t-girl. i should of bolted right there but she was so cool and it felt so good to be with her that i stayed and we talked and then we massaged each other and eventually had full s**. ive never felt so good in my life. everything she did was magic and everything she did was soooo right. now i cant think about anything but her. i dont think i am gay but i want this t-girl more than i have ever wanted anything and i am even thinking about leaving my family for her. she is amazing and i want to be with her but it makes me feel so confused about my sexuality and my family. i just want her more than anything ever and i could not possibly give her up. i think i love her. i really do.

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  • Sorry to break this to you but no matter how many hormones it takes and no matter how much surgery and implants it gets it is no longer male and certainly will never be female. Female does not mean rubber b****, fake finger nails, gluey makeup, and fake hair extensions. Female is ovaries, uterus, v***** and mammary glands. You must be a homosexual in denial.

  • another problem i am starting to realize is the change that lexi made to me. even tho i havent started back having s** with my wife yet i find that she doesnt arouse me anymore and i dont get turned on when i think about doing her. unfortunately whenever i think about lexi i get a hardon instantly and i stay hard so muchthat it hurts physically. i tested myself to see if i could switch it over to my wife but as soon as i think about penetrating my wife i lose the erection. i hope that doesnt last. on our 3rd date lexi actually told me that i would eventually lose interest in p**** in general and my wife in particular and that she was working on me to make that happen and make it so that i would only want her, but i thought it was just something she said to be seductive and to make things more intimate and more sexy but now i wonder if she knew something about it. i really hope this doesnt last and it scares me.

  • those who said it would be hard to give her up physically were right. my body has already started aching to have her in me everywhere. it really is like an addiction.

  • dude your a h***. clean up.

  • Just a brief word. You could do worse than spending a little time and money on some private, PROFESSIONAL therapy. I know, I know: counseling is the first thought of the unimaginative, and the last refuge of the desperate. But in this case, I think it would be beneficial to you, to reshape your thoughts and get your physical desires back on track. You weren't OFF the track long enough to have developed intractable and ingrained behaviors, so it shouldn't take long (or require much expense) to rid yourself of the negative wanting of Lexi or of the difference of her physical feel, especially when you can focus on the way she intentionally deceived and duped you, all in the name of money. I know you thought you loved her, and that will be hard to erase, but once you accept that it was never real, that it can't be revived, and that it could never become reliable, you'll quickly be able to seal off that memory and think of it, if you ever think of it, as a slip that caused no lasting damage. Be the husband you were in the seconds before you entered that bar, and then (mentally) turn and walk back to your car as though you never went inside. Focus all your attention, effort and LOVE on your family.

  • You go to ask her if she wants to be with you. maybe not. then problem solved. you need to stay with your family and get your wife's love. That's not bad.

  • ditto

  • Yes, give her another try and see if she'll date you without the money involved. Don't give up on what seems to be a very, very special girl.

  • you probaly alrady got a disease.

  • You're completely delusional if you think you're going back to your family like nothing's happened. First of all, Lexi is not going to give you up: she's going to come back and lure you back between her legs......and back inside her ass. That's what t-girls do: they seduce, and they are really, really, really good at it because they know how men think and they know how to turn that against them. But even if she doesn't do that, you surely already know that once you get on the meat, you NEVER get off the meat. It may not happen all at once, and it may not happen quickly, but eventually, you're going to start aching for the meat again and you're going to do whatever it takes to get it back inside you, including a lot of seriously risky s***. You know that's true. If you just honestly search your own feelings, you'll have to admit it........you can't live without having the meat in your life. It may not be another t-girl; it may just be a gay man you begin a relationship with platonically. But soon, you'll be exchanging loads with each other, orally and anally (and facially) and you won't even be able to remember the names of your wife and children. You're already hooked on c***, and you're going back to it. Admit it. Confess it. Love it.

  • i agree completely with ^this^ commenter and ill take it a scary scary step further: lexi probably will be back to blackmail you. im soryy to say it but if she wasnt able to get your money out of your love for her she may come back and get it out of a threat. think about it: dont you think she was videoing the two of you when you were together in bed? or taping you during phone s**? or when you were telling her how much better she made you feel than your wife? or how you would leave your children to be with her? you may be thru with lexi but i doubt seriously that lexi is through with you.

  • sick f***

  • I'm sorry you lost her, really, because it sounded like it was going to be a real relationship, at least before she proved to be such a disappointment. I wish you well in the return to your family.

  • alright since this is called "confession" post i guess i have to confess that what i originally wrote here turned out to be lies that i bought in my total stupidity, and that what several of you guys wrote back to me, trying to wake me up, turned out to be exactly right. last night lexi told me that her boyfriend had found out she was seeing me and he threatened to cut off her money unless she stopped. she said she wanted to be with me more than him but that the only way she could afford that was if i gave her at least as much money as he had been giving her and if i did that she would end it with him. to be honest, if you guys hadn't predicted exactly that i probably would have believed this new set of lies and tried to find a way to replace her income from the other guy and gone with her myself. instead i just started laughing. naturally she thought i was laughing at her but i was only laughing at myself....for being so m************ stupid and s**-blind. so its over with lexi and i am going back to being a fulltime husband and father and will try to make up the mistreatment of my family: even though they weren't directly aware of it, they were at least affected by it. i still wont have s** with my wife for a few more weeks, until after I've been tested several more times for stds and been cleared so that my doctor can say i pose a very limited threat to my wife. i realize now that i sounded stupid when i was writing those other things and i'm embarrassed by them all, but i appreciate everyone who sounded the alarm for me. last night, i heard it. and now, i'm ringing it for anybody else who finds himself with his own lexi.

  • She was a w**** and she worked her spell on you. Don't dwell on it. Just move on. Well done.

  • A w**** is a w****: it doesn't matter what kind of equipment it has between its legs. You're better off with this one.

  • Oops........"with" should be "without".

  • i just hope you don't slip and go back to her in a moment of weakness. you should block her from your phone just in case because a girl like that is going to come sniffing around again, for your c***, but mostly for your money.

  • whether or not you consider yourself a homosexual your dating one and thinking of leaving your family for 'her'. what does that make you?

  • It makes him a f** and he knows it. He just doesn't want to believe it or accept it.

  • Damn straight.....if he took the d*** out of his mouth long enough to breathe he would recognize what is being done to him and why. One of the other posters said it exactly right: this thing that's f****** him is only interested in his money.

  • Wow - unprotected s** - just stupid because you can get std's, aids, etc. even if you get divorced, you may not end up with Lexi - then who will want to have s** with a guy with std's.

  • your going to die of aids. i just hope you dont kill your wife too.

  • i really don't think shes got stds but if you ever saw how beautiful and built this girl is you almost wouldn't care

  • You have to be kidding. You can't possibly be that naïve.

  • ditto. this attitude is going to get you dead.....but only after you've suffered for a long time.

  • If this "girl" (I use the term loosely) is penetrating you and is e********** in you, and if you are penetrating her and e********** in her, then you have no choice but to accept the absolute definitional imperative here: you are either a homosexual or a bisexual. Call yourself whatever you like or whatever comforts you, but stop pretending like the possibility exists that you aren't gay or have no gay components to your sexuality. When somebody talks bad about faggotry, they're talking about you, too.

  • T-girls are the best. So hot and sexy!

  • This is just so damn sexy. I hope you wind up with the tgirl.

  • ^same here^

  • Most t-girls are more understanding and better partners and better at s** than women because they understand your needs better and they are willing to focus on making you happy not themselves. Women are selfish. T-girls are selfless. Women are b******. T-girls are lovers. You're doing the right thing and I hope you eventually make the right choice. Your wife will never make you as happy as this girl. Never.

  • thank you so much and your so right about how sensitive she is and how she focuses so much on me. this girl is really amazing. i mean i do love my wife and family but not like lexi who is quickly becoming everything to me. i want her so bad and i love her so much and i cant imagine being without her not ever. thanks again

  • I had a sort-of similar experience in a bar about five years ago except that once I started making out with her in the bar and we started to grind on the dance floor (this was maybe on the 4th or 5th time we'd talked at the bar), I realized what she was and realized I'd been wanting to cheat with someone like her, and I got nervous and scared and left. I never went back to the bar to look for her, though I wanted to, and every time I think about her even now, I get aroused and wish I had followed through. Please don't let social conventions keep you from being with someone who is as good for you as this girl seems to be. Take my advice......AT LEAST give the relationship a chance to see where it goes!

  • i appreciate your support and i really am going to try at this so hard to make it work and see how it develops. i am sorry you had a regretful experience but i hope for you that you find another t-girl like my lexi and that you can grow a relationship with her. it can happen. dont ever give up on your dream!

  • Are you sure this is an "either/or" situation? Do you have to give up wife and family in order to be with this girl? Can you not have them both?

  • its possible i guess but my feelings for lexi are so strong and so powerful that they are crowding out all thoughts of my wife and family and all i want is her. she hasnt put any demands on me to leave home in fact she said she wouldnt do that. but...........she does say that if i ever decide to leave and be only with her that she will end all the other relationships she has and be only with me. she doesn't say she loves me in those words but i feel it from her whenever we are together or even talking on the phone. she is amazing.

  • verrrrrry sick........

  • Totally perverted bullshit.

  • I bet s** and conversations with your wife was pretty good at first, too.

  • I say dump your family & be with that girl. You're doing your wife and family a huge favor. I mean, who wants to be with an unfaithful loser? If you want to have s** with other people, divorce your wife first!

  • i think it may come to a divorce because all i can think about is her and all i really want is her. she is so amazing.

  • First of all, she's a girl, so you're not gay. Second, you need to take a giant step back and look at this situation objectively. You're infatuated with this girl which means that right now you're not thinking clearly. You need to give yourself some time and space to figure things out and that means NOT seeing her for a while. I'm going to assume you still love your wife and your kids and don't want to hurt them. You've got a lot to lose here buddy so don't rush into anything you're going to regret later. Truth is, you don't really know anything about this girl so before you do anything you can't take back make sure you're prepared for the consequences of your actions. Good luck!

  • ^^ Best advice ^^

  • thank you so much for your encouragement and for being so clearheaded about this situation. i admit that i am not clearheaded at all about lexi or about my love for her or about our lovemaking which seems to just get better and better every time were together. i have never experienced anything so intense or so beautiful or so powerful and all i want is MORE! thank you.

  • I'm proud of you for being open-minded and going with the flow, although she probably should have been more open with you about it. trans girls just want to be treated like regular ole girls. you did the right thing with that, at least. the cheating was kinda messed up and i don't know what to tell you on that except follow your heart, and don't act too quickly, whatever you decide. proceed with caution. also, being with a trans girl doesn't make you gay. she's a girl, and if you're a guy who likes girls, then you're not gay. :P

  • Totally right here^^. The heart wants what the heart wants, and you can't change that. If your new girl makes you happier than your wife, well then you know what you need to do. And like the initial commenter, I applaud you for opening your mind -- and your body -- to this girl who seems to know better how you please you. Congrats! And best wishes!

  • omg thanks to both of you for being so positive! i feel so twisted into knots about this. part of it is family obligation of course but so much more of it is the idea that I've been converted to being 'gay'. but i swear to god that there is never a second when i'm with lexi or thinking about her that i think of her as being a man. not even when she is inside my body and pushing to go deeper. i mean i realize that what we are doing is not conventional intercourse but i only think of it as being so different and so much better than that. and i love pleasing her and making her c** in me or on me or around me and i feel like that is my purpose on earth, to make her as happy as she can be. thank you for making this about love and not about perversion. thank you!

  • Obviously, you're going to do what you want. But what you're hung up on is s**, it's not love. And a t-girl isn't a girl, unless his d*** is removed..and sounds like it's intact. You should leave your wife, it's not fair to her. You say you love your family.. Your wife didn't sign up for this. She shouldn't have to wait around for you to figure your s*** out while you put her at risk. You probably have been confused for a long time. Then you can be with this "girl" Lexi all you want. Keep in mind, Lexi is sleeping with lots of other partners without the use of condoms (and most likely her partners aren't using protection). If you two are using them, why would she be with anyone else? And if she's a party girl, chances are a lot of drugs and multiple partners are involved. So the reality is, you are at risk for contracting HIV and Hep C and other STDs and sadly passing it on to your wife..because of your indecision. Man up, just divorce your wife it's the nicest thing you can do for her and your family at this point.

  • F*** off, t-girls are absolutely girls, you don't get to say what someone else's gender is, only they do. Their squishy parts have s***-all to do with it.

  • The "squishy parts" have everything to do with it. Transgender is not a third option on a menu: a person is either one or the other and this "thing" is obviously a male. Which makes this whole situation not only perverted but gross and disgusting and sickening.

  • You could be right that its only s** and not love but the feeling i have is so much stronger than I ever had before about any woman including my wife and it is all-consuming to me. i have to say you defenately are totally right about several other things you said (almost scary). lexi is totaly still intact and her 'c***' (what she calls it) isn't very thick but it is loooong and really beautiful and delicious and i cant get enough. another thing that you got right somehow (which is amazing) is that she has several other partners. she has a married boyfriend who takes care of her so i can only see her when she isn't with him. he is her main relationship for almost 3 years. she sees other men when she doesn't have a date with him which is what happened with me that night. but since we met she has only gone with men other than him when i cant see her and she says she will end all those relationships if i decide to leave my family though she doesn't pressure me for that. as for protection we talked about that for a long time the first night and since i was a t-girl virgin she let me decide whether to use it but she told me that it would feel so much more intimate and pure "without anything between us" and since we had already gone so far by that time i said i wanted to feel her completely no matter who was inside who so we didn't use it. she asked me the second night and i said i didn't ever want anything between us. i haven't had s** with my wife since lexi and i met and i wont until i decide what to do so she isn't in danger of catching anything. lexi swears shes clean and gets tests all the time and i trust her completely. lastly i think that divorce is probably what will happen but i still have that doubt about what you first said, s** versus love, and about me being gay without realizing it since i think of lexi as a real true pure woman and nothing else. i want her so bad that i think this must be love. thanks for sharing your thoughts.

  • Chances are Lexi likes her situation. She has no reason to leave her arrangements, even for you. Unless you have a lot of $$, she will still always have other suitors on the side. She will tell you she's clean..and just because she's clean, doesn't mean you shouldn't get tested as well. It's not a matter of if, it's when. It's not really rocket science to figure out that Lexi is out partying and most likely sleeping with a lot of men. Take away the make up and the breast implants, she is a man. And as a man, you guys are dogs. C'mon..fess up. Your whole mission in life to sleep with as many people as you can. And yea, you are having gay s**, because Lexi's anatomy is still that of a man. There is nothing wrong with being gay. And there's nothing wrong with Lexi, living her life as a woman. But again, don't confuse l*** with love. You can't trust her completely..but you really don't know her. And P.S. Hep C will kill you quicker then HIV/AIDS. Not sure how long you can avoid not having s** with your wife, but you're going to have to make this decision sooner than later. And you may want to prepare yourself for the outcome that you could find yourself alone.

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