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<3 <3
Dear C___,
It's been a year since I last saw you and you came to my house today. The moment you texted to say you were on your way, I got nervous. Butterflies in my stomach, hands trembling, ridiculous smile on my face.
Watching you walk down my hall made my heart skip. I laughed when I saw you, not out of anything mean, but because you had to duck your head to get past a decoration. I'd forgotten how tall you were.
It was difficult to hold back the physical cues I normally give in your presence. I had to consciously remind myself not to bite my lip, not to reach out and touch your arm, not to lean into you. Did you see my hand shaking when I was writing? I bit my tongue a few times to stop the words from escaping, the regular lewd jokes we have with one another. I wanted to tell you I hate to see you leave, but love watching you go... I figured you'd be amused by that.
But I don't want to put that space between us again.
You looked and sounded good today. Joking, laughing, poking fun... you seemed happy and I hope you are.
I noticed you refer to her as your wife again, rather than just by her name. I like that. She is yours again. Something so simple, but in my mind tells me you two just might be okay in the end. You deserve happiness and I hope you have it.
Love,
The Girl Who Did Fall for You.
I cant believe you agreed to see him, that must have been so hard for you. I know you want the best for him and its biter sweet because in the same breathe you want him for yourself, you know you have to let him go and live his life. I'm sorry you're hurting in some way. do you think its a good idea to keep seeing him?
It probably isnt... lol... but I can't bear to end the friendship.