Weird thoughts, please help!
I've been engaged to the girl of my dreams for almost a year, and plan to get married next spring. We're both rather professional people, I have my Masters degree in Electrical Engineering, and she is getting her PhD in Marketing. She's very much the "Buisnesswoman" type, expensive purses, suit jackets, skirts, etc. I'm much more laid back, but recently we were talking about all our exes. We knew a lot about each others past, and a lot about our exes, but we got on the subject of our old s** lives before we met each other. I met her my Senior year of college, and we dated all through grad school, and she had only had one serious boyfriend before me, whom she dated all throughout high school. Well, recently she admitted to having about a 6 month to year long fling with a football player in college right before we met. She is about 5'5" maybe 135lbs, red hair, glasses, and very petite and professional. He was 6'4", 275lbs, and black. I'm not racist, but at first my stomach kind of dropped. I had no idea she's had sexual relations with a black athlete much larger than me in every way possible (height, weight, "down there"). I honestly was upset for a while, though I didn't tell her. However, this changed. The more and more I thought about it, the more and more it turned me on. Now I can't stop imagining it, and I really want her to talk to me more about it. I have no idea why I feel this way. Is there any help out there?