I gave up on finding love before I even knew what it was
I can't remember a time when I actually thought I would find someone to love or actually someone who could love me. I'm morbidly obese, ugly with no redeeming personality or social skills. I've had maybe three people who were 'friends' in my lifetime and none longer than a school year and none since high school. I've dated 2 people in 26 years and both were only because they were friends of the family. I lost my virginity at 16 to the guy I was dating and I remember thinking "I want to at least know what it's like since I'm never going to get the chance again" and I haven't. I did the same thing with the girl I dated years after that. I'm pretty sure not only am I unloveable I'm not even likable. I don't wallow in it though. I accepted long ago that I am this way and I'm going to die alone.