Baby too soon

I'm pregnant after dating a guy for 7 weeks. I'm 38 and shocked I got pregnant so quickly. I want to keep the baby. . .he wants me to terminate. I respect his feelings and I understand them. I don't know what to do.

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  • How far along is the pregnancy?

  • I call bullshit

  • i totally concur.

  • I think you should follow your gut instincts here you're the one that is pregnant and ok you said you respect this guys wishes but I think you should have a word with your doctor about giving birth at your age but if you want to have the baby and you are willing to bring it up and love the child then I think you should have it the end of the day it is your decision and you have to stand by that decision whatever that will be ....its a human life we are dealing with here and you have to strongly consider that ...but I'm sure whatever decision you come to will be the right one for you ...the very best of luck to you I wish you well.

  • these are all excellent observations. listen to them all.

  • Its simpel she screamed when he was pumping now she must liv wit it

  • You are the one person that could have absolutely prevented this clusterfuck, and now you have to live with the consequence.

    When I was hooking up with a woman and she "said be cool I'm not on birth Control", I pulled my spermshooter right out of her c*****....

    Given your age, adoption, and move on. While they are in there have them tie your tubes so this doesn't happen again.
    Good luck

  • U were great man 2 pull it out i always put it up to the roots

  • To be honest I'd be a bit worried about giving birth at your age. For the potential child's sake as much as your own. Also consider what a massive burden the child will be on your life even if it is fully formed and healthy and the birth is uncomplicated. Especially if you're single. Having a child will alter every single part of your life, often for the worse. It will become much, much harder. And the child, no matter its temperament, will be totally incapable of appreciating anything you do for it. Just please keep all those things in mind. Should you keep it, good things may result, who knows... but make sure to take every consideration in hand before you decide.

  • Find a man slightly older than you who has no children. He will love to be with you and to raise that child as his own. Don't waste your time with the bio father: give him a deadline and if he doesn't meet it, he loses his rights to claim paternity. The new man in your life then can adopt the baby. Good luck!

  • did you ever have an abortion before? more than one?

  • commonplace occurrence anymore. it will be okay.

  • Keep the baby sweetheart. He or she will love you long after the guy is gone. There's nothing more wonderful than the way a child loves you. You can't buy love like that at any price. You're carrying your best friend inside you honey.

  • Bullshit. There's absolutely NO guarantee that the child will automatically love you. In fact most children are apathetic towards or actively dislike their parents even into adulthood. And often for good reason. All that romantic "your best friend is inside you!" nonsense needs to die in a fire. Furthermore, bringing a child into the world for your own selfish wants or needs is INCREDIBLY wrong and f***** up and will only lead to a f***** up childhood for the poor thing.

  • awwww, did mommy not wuv you?

  • I kept my baby even though my boyfriend didn't want it. He split, but within about 18 months I found an older guy who not only loved me but loved my little girl, and we're very happy now.

  • Do you have any other children?

  • if you arent very far along just keep it for a little while longer and see if the father changes his mind or if you may even change your own. dont be in a hurry just yet to do anything.

  • There is comfort in numbers, so it helps to know you aren't alone. Plenty of girls have dealt with this and survived, regardless of the choice they made. And so will you!!

  • do you and the father love each other

  • I read somewhere recently that one in three girls have an unplanned pregnancy, so no matter what anyone says, yours is not an unusual or unforgiveable situation. It is unpleasant (for you), but it's either correctable or survivable. You'll be fine, either way. Be well!

  • You did nothing wrong. And whatever you decide will be what's right. Best wishes.

  • It's fine to be respectful of the father and his feelings, but it's your body and so the decision has to rest with you alone. It's a very difficult position to be in, but there's comfort in knowing that other women have been there before. If you have friends who have had abortions, or who considered abortion but rejected it, talk to them. Don't ask them what you should do, but just listen to them speak about their own experiences and accept those experiences as background. I know you'll do what's right.....FOR YOU.

  • ^ agreed ^ a guy will tell you one thing one day and then tell you something entirely different the next. he willprobably change his mind about the abortion and see it your way if you give him time. that assumes of course that you either definitely want to keep the baby or are still unsure of what you want to do. but i assume you still have some time to decide so take as much of it as you can and see how things are down the road a little way further. good luck!!!

  • I thought only women did all that flip flopping?

  • LOL. That's an old husbands' tale. ;>

  • Keep the baby, by all means. I think the father will eventually come around. Guys are such clods about this stuff, but most of the time they do figure it out. I wish you and your baby well.

  • It really doesn't matter what decision you make. You're a w**** and that's not going to change no matter what you do.

  • That's horrible. You're a horrible person.

  • People have committed suicide over people saying things like that online. Enjoy your time as a cyber bully, tough guy.

  • I'm a widow. A cancer survivor. I volunteer ALL my time. I had intimate relations with a man I'm falling in love with. If that's your definition of a w****, than you're right. I hope making that comment made you feel good about yourself.

  • You knowingly had unprotected s** with a man you've known for seven weeks, and now you want to pretend to be noble and saintly and loving and confused? And you want sympathy? Forgive me, but you assumed the risk of precisely this outcome when you took him between your legs and cared not at all for him or you or a baby, but thought only of your own momentary pleasure. If you're genuinely "shocked" by the result, then you're genuinely stupid.

  • Think about both options completely in depth. Think about how your life would turn out with a baby, and how it would without. Where do you see your self happier? Its YOUR life. People can influence you all they want, because that's what they want. This is all you. Let it come from the heart. Just make sure what ever you chose, it was your decision, not anyone elses.

  • Thank you for saying something helpful and sensitive to the situation! That's great advice. :)

  • Glad I could help! :)

  • Tell him you are keeping the baby and if he doesnt want to be involved he doesnt have to sign the birth certificate, he doesnt have to be involved.

  • I OBVIOUSLY knows how it happens, as does he. He KNEW I wasn't on birth control. But, now that it's a reality, he's having second thought. Thanks for your incredibly intelligent insight.

  • Yes, he knew full well I wasn't on birth control AND that I was about to ovulate as I check every month. I would never trap anyone. It's not as simple as him "being an a******." He's scared too.

  • Did you tell him you were on birth control (or sterile) when, in fact, you were not? In other words did you trick him into believing pregnancy would be prevented or was he aware that it was a risk when he f***** you without a condom? If he knew he was taking a chance he has no right to complain about it now but if he thought you were taking steps to prevent it you have no right to force fatherhood upon him.

  • Don't kill it!! How do you know if you will ever get pregant again if you abort? You can't change your mind after an abortion. If you decide you don't want the baby you could give he/she to a couple that is ready for a baby.

  • You're own feelings about abortion are NOT helpful to me. AT ALL. It's either termination or I'm keeping the baby. And it's not a baby yet. It's a group of sells. Keep your antiquated views on women's health to yourself.

  • Jeez, why all the unwarranted hostility? Did you even read the comment? This person wasn't making a moral judgment, or even asking you to do that on your own. He or she was just saying that an abortion eliminates any possibility of a future change of mind or heart, where if you keep it, you have other options. If the use of the word "kill" is what offends you, then an abortion clearly isn't the course for you.

  • Hey! I had skin cancer surgery this week AND my mother fell and broke her ankle. PLUS I'M F****** PREGNANT. I think I have the right to be a little hostile. Shut the f*** up if you have nothing constructive to say.

  • You never "have the right" to be hostile to someone who is trying to help you. In exactly the same way that you never "have the right" to be, for example, an a******.

  • It's my question and thread! OF COURSE I HAVE THE RIGHT!! I have the RIGHT to do anything. She wasn't trying to help. She was pushing her own opinion on me. My life is in shambles. . . I'M ALLOWED TO BE ANGRY. So do something better with your time and stop lecturing me you GIGANTIC loser!!

  • Lemme guess...........Democrat?

  • Keep the baby,its probably the only one you will ever get at your age,f*** the guy's selfish desires.I am a grandpa of 1 and have 4 kids,I tell you that so you know that I know what am talking about.You terminate that now and get pregnant again in a few months and keep it or not get pregnant ever.Whats the point of even listening to this guy? Good luck and if he does not want you come to me and we can raise the kid together:)

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