I Keep My Fifty Shades Secret.

I am (As you may know) 16. I am in a BDSM-type friends with benefits relationship. I feel like a female version of Christian Grey .. Is that bad? Only this one boy knows about me being "fifty shades of f***** up." I can't help that I have a low s** drive, and that's what keeps me going. I also have a secret, I have 50 Shades of Grey on my e-reader. I mentioned it once, and my mom said she'd kick my ass if I read it, what do I do?

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  • I realize this. Thank you for your feedback. I dont practice anything that Christian does, it seemed a little hard core. I definitely do not go insane when someone touches me, or insist someone gets a certain amount of sleep, that's a little over the edge. Thanks again, but should I tell my mom I read it? I'm scared she will find out. Then that's just going to an embarrassing talk.

  • I don't think she needs to know at all. If she does find out, then yeah, you will probably have to talk about it, but... It's your life, your choice of reading material. She doesn't have to know everything you do. That's not being sneaky or hiding things, it's just realizing that your life belongs to YOU, not her. Sorry if this sounds defensive, I have to struggle with this concept myself after growing up with very overbearing privacy invading parents, haha.

  • I totally agree. It doesn't sound defensive at all, just logical.

  • As a dominate, your partners safety is your responsibility. Looking after their well-being is what separates a dominate from an abuser. You need to learn about safe words, hard and soft limits and the proper techniques to cause pain without serious injury. Most important you need to learn how to get inside your submissive's head. Figure out what they want and need so you can give it to them, or not.

  • A book is a book... But, I want you to know that 50 Shades is a terrible, very poor depiction of BDSM and its culture. Christian Grey does some really f***** up things that the BDSM community frowns upon highly. Some of it could easily be considered sexual abuse or even straight up rape. There's a big difference between BDSM and sexual abuse, no matter what those who don't understand will say. 50 Shades is pretty much just a bad, porny Twilight fanfic [not pretty much, it literally is, its early stages are even still posted on fanfiction.net], but feel free to read it if you feel like you can do it safely... but also, use a better tool like the internet to learn what BDSM is really like. Mr. Grey isn't safe or sane at all and he's not somebody to learn from. I implore you, if you feel like this is up your alley, check out sites such as Fetlife and just generally do some googling.

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