Love hurts

I'm in a relationship with my best friend who is a girl. I love her to pieces but I know it's wrong. I was brought up in an incredibly Christian family and am starting to feel guilty all the time. I don't want to end it because I know it will break her heart, but my heart is breaking not knowing what to do. My choices are to dump her or to tell my parents I'm gay.

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  • I was raised in a Christian household myself, but you can't let dogma rule what you do. We were both taught God is love, and love is unconditional and non-judgemental. So why would a being who is love, want to make you miserable and qualify which forms of love are acceptable. If you love this girl, and just the mere thought of her sets your heart aflutter, it'll only the judgement of your family that will ruin it, and only if you let them. Stand up for the person you love and the relationship you have. If your family loves you, they will come to accept the person you are, and I think being honest is always better than lying (especially when it's a lie that you will have to keep on telling).

  • Religion can be constraining as it has become socially constructed. There is a God despite's peoples desire to put him in ill fitting boxes.

    Search your heart an answer will come...

    I've had a similar dilemma... I never felt rejected by God, ever; my family, perhaps and others brainwashed by the socially acceptable constructions placed on gender and gender behaviors.

    Your choices are only yours to make.

  • What your religion teaches you is wrong. It's not wrong to follow your feelings. The church teaches that such things are bad in order to control its members, but the church is not a god, it is a group of humans who have an agenda. Listen. If you love her, you love her and there's nothing bad about that. If you believe in your god, pray to him and really listen. Don't let anyone else speak for him. If he has something to say to you, he'll say it and you'll hear it. If not, then maybe he is just in your head, or maybe he is just something that your family and your church taught you to believe so that they could control you. There's nothing wrong with believing that. I promise, if a person will get struck by lightning for thinking that, I'd be dead by now.

    Furthermore, you don't have to tell your parents that you're gay. One relationship does not make you gay. You decide what your orientation is in time. But honestly it's none of their business who you want to date unless you make it their business. You have more choices than you think. I advise you to ask your god to speak to you and tell you what to do. Even if he is not there. Your subconscious will tell you what your heart knows is right for you. That is the real "still small voice". Not a man in the sky who will hate you forever if you kiss girls. Only you know what is right for you.

  • Pray for God's help to make the right choices. Think about what you really want with your life and what will make your conscience at peace. After that, determine exactly how you feel about it and then talk to your friend. See what she has to say then tell your parents how you feel as well. Ultimately, just be who you are and let Jesus lead you in your uncertainty.

  • There's probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life.

  • When one person has an invisible friend...they are crazy.
    When a bunch of people has the same invisible's a religion.

    Wake up people.

  • I wouldn't have such a problem with religion if it weren't for all the pain it causes, like the pain the OP is experiencing right now. Religion has turned what should be a source of joy, a loving relationship, into a source of pain and guilt. Hitchens was right, religion DOES poison everything.

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