It's okay to judge me

I fathered a young lady 24 years ago and being dumb selfish and stupid did the deadbeat father thing an left her. I paid child support the entire 18 years of her left but haven't seen her seen the age of 3. I started another life, had child (4) and have been with them their entire lives trying to make up for the failure at being a father to my other daughter. I paid the support but never told her brothers and sisters that they have an older sister out there in the world. To keep this post short I've came across my daughter's internet activities when she was 14 and followed all her tumblers, tweets, facebook, black hair blogs, and various other blogs anonymously. Downloading every picture she posted of herself on Instagram, facebook, and other medias. For ten years every day I readed everyone of her post some happy, some sad, and yes somethings a father who's snooping doesn't want to know about his young daughter's social life. Her mother has done an excellent job raising her sending her to college and graduating now planning a job in the medical field. As I've got older I know I have so many lives that I have to try and fix. Sibling's that I know would be excited to know each other, she has a grandmother, aunt, and uncle who are the greatest people in the world an would embrace her with love when they learn about her. I hear songs like Will Downing's " Sorry I" or " Pretty Wings" " Shouda,Woulda, Coulda" and realize I'm dying every day trying to keep this secret inside. I know this isn't about me it's about my children, my family, and most important my daughter. The resolution to this is coming soon I'm going to make contact with her through her internet blog and confess all the things I wrote here. I only hope that she forgives me and we move forward from this day on. If not I hope she can build at the least a relationship with her brothers and sister. Another irony here is I know about this site because it's one of the many that She visits over the years....

Nov 16, 2013

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  • There is no reason for her to forgive you , when you abandon someone it is like killing them , children can not survive on their own and it is only the father and mother that can truly love and support the child appropriately .

    My real father abandoned me , it took me a long time to locate the s***, then I beat the living h*** out of him in front of his friends . I enjoyed giving him a beating while other men watched . He made the mistake of getting drunk , I brought a few of my punk friends with me to make sure no one jumped my back , I picked a fight and called him outside . I then kicked him in the nuts and got on top and beat him till he was out cold , broke his nose and blacked both eyes bad . I enjoyed beating the black b****** so much , he had no idea his own son was kicking his ass .

    After he was out I began pounding him with my elbows till my friends pulled me off, , they thought I would kill him . His friends took him to the hospital , I had broke his jaw

  • Sounds like something an angry distraught woman would do and then be so proud as to brag about it as if she's done herself and the world some sort of favor by exposing her barbaric lack of self control... or could this be the behavior of a spoiled brat kid throwing his temper tantrum...because he didn't get what he wanted? grow your ass up kid and learn to deal with life's problems!!!

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