I miss you and I only met you once. I'm sorry.

Dear JB,

I'm half ashamed to be typing this out, but half glad I get to do this anonymously. I miss you, a lot. I miss our texts and talks on facebook from 4-5 years ago, even though we only met once very briefly. Both of us were taken, but were unhappy in our relationships. I was so young and you were everything I wanted. I felt like you knew me more than anyone else. I knew I couldn't be with you not just because of distance, but because of special circumstances at the time... and I never admitted to myself fully, but I now realize that I was falling for you all those years ago. I had to suppress my feelings for you soon after I started to grow up and realized I needed a man that can be there for me physically and emotionally. I just wished it was you. Now I'm in a happy 3 year relationship with my boyfriend, who I know I'm going to marry after college. You once told me that you wish you met me first. Sometimes I wish that was true. But I know you also told me I deserved to be happy. And when things got serious with my boyfriend, I accidentally cut you out of my life and you deleted me on facebook. Now a year later, you add me back? It's been a week and I've been looking at your photos and all of our old messages. All these feelings rushed back to me and I just can't seem to stop thinking about you. I always see you on facebook chat, and I always hope you'll message me... wondering how I'm doing and that you've been missing me so much. But I won't let temptation give in. I just miss that feeling of wanting someone I can't have I guess? If we just become friends again, that would be nice. You will always have a special place in my heart. I want to tell you all of this so badly, and some part of me hopes you feel the same. But, this will do.

Sincerely,
me

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  • I can relate to this so clearly, so hard that these things complicate our lives.

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