I secretly pretend to like my wife's

I secretly pretend to like my wife's disabled MALE friend. She met him as their caregiver (nurse). I have grown to like them enough to get by, but a year ago I caught her writing secret letters back and forth with this 35 year disabled man. Im 37, she's 38. At a minimum she was having an emotional affair, and she routinely would kiss him on the lips. It was so weird for me. His mom, who became a good friend to my wife, told her she could love us both. Well, I am her husband of 16 years, and I do not like having to "share" my wife with another man, even if he is disabled. She openly told me she "loves him" and could kiss him. I jokingly told her to let me know in advance if she was interested in having s** with him, and she said she would. Go figure. Anyway, I have been living with this for more than a year. She thinks I am ok with it, and all I tried to do was preserve a marriage, even though I hate the situation. I have spoiled her rotten, earned big wages and been there for our family and provided very very well. We don't go hungry and have no shortage of clothes. I haven't been perfect, but certainly really close to perfect... Too close to be treated as second fiddle, and certainly not suppose to have to share her with another man. It's not fair to me and I am tore up inside......she blackmailed me so why am I so afraid that no other woman could love me? If I knew I could be loved by another woman, and wouldn't spend the rest of my life alone, I'd leave my wife in a heartbeat. I am afraid of being alone...

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  • Break her best friends foot and then love her like she loves that man.

  • You need to let her know that you are not, never have been, and never will be okay with her "loving" another man! Tell her that either she cuts the guy out of her life forever, or you leave!

  • If you're not ok with it, put your foot down! Tell her to stop behaving like that or you're out of there... Then, the ball is in her court.

  • Basically,she is being a s*** right now. Marriage is suppossed to be sacred and both people should only make love with each other unless BOTH dont have a problem, but you do. I say that you seperate from her for a while. Of course,your children will wonder why, but explain it to them in terms they can understand and ones that will make the blow as easy as possible,But you cant stay in that house with her. You HAVE to clear your head and them move on. Thats when you completely divorce from her, but always let your children know they are priority no matter what because they will be highly upset either way. If you think that this is a crazy idea, how will you feel when your kids find out that mommy's f****** the invalid. I bet they would take that a bit worse, dont you?
    Just get rid of the w**** and go live your life. There is somebody for everybody, and apparently, this b**** isnt for you.
    ~Mrs. Tell It Like It Is~

  • In that case, you better tell her how uncomfortable this is making you. She is setting a terrible example for your children if she insists that she can "love both" of you guys. And if you end up leaving her, just realize you probably have a really good chance of getting custody of the kids since she's setting such a bad example.

  • I am the poster. We have two kids. That's whats so difficult about the situation....

  • If you're uncomfortable with it, there's nothing wrong with you leaving her. It might take a while for you to trust someone again, and to find the right person, but you will definitely be able to find someone to love and who will love you with all of their heart again.

  • You'd Be Loved Again.
    Without A Doubt.
    But Its Not Gonna Be Easy.

  • She could be one of those people that needs to be needed. She most likely doesn't really love this guy, she's just confusing the feelings of caring for someone with caring about them. Do you two have children? I say talk about this, consider counseling, and most of all, she needs to realise she has a marriage and leave this guy alone.

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