My problem is backwards.

Some people have depression from being ignored or bullied, from receiving negative attention from the people around them. Mine stems from the fact that I'm never left alone. I'm naturally introverted- I'm happier when left to my own devices and not surrounded by people. I love having friends, I really do- but I feel as if only one is truly my friend. I think everyone else is around me because they have "crushes" on me or they "love me." I have all male friends and only a few girl friends. One of those girl friends is my greatest friend I have ever had. All of those males have confessed to me at some point. I hate it. I don't want love. I don't want dating. I really don't want to be involved with romance, so why? Why do they all feel attracted to me? In elementary and middle school, people that were attracted to me touched me. In ways that I would never allow. That's why I'm afraid. I'm afraid that one day I'll be touched again. I hate this. It would be so much easier to just ignore everybody and focus only on that one girl that I've told every problem I have to. She is the only person that knows me. She's my dearest friend. I hate feeling like this. Knowing that the only reason people are around me is because of my pretty face. I hate it. I feel so... Used. All the time. Bluntly, it sucks. Having a string of admirers is a horrible thing to an introverted person with a fear of being invaded once again.

No Comments Yet

Account Login
Signup
Is this post inapropriate?
Is this comment inapropriate?
Delete this post?