Ex Panic

Even though I blocked him well over a year ago, I still get little tiny panic attacks--not flutters, but anxiety--every time I see a post about my ex on Facebook.
I've never met someone who inspires such negative feelings instantly. I wish it would just stop already.

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  • Miley Cyrus? That's a man, baby!

  • Here's the solution that's best for you. Go out to a club, find a nice black man, sophisticated and older than you. Go home with him and have him give you what's called the "Sub-Saharan". Your life will never be the same: it will forever be immeasurably better and you will be immeasurably happier, and you will not - I promise - even be able to remember your ex's name. More, you will become addicted to the Sub-Saharan, and you will want more and more of it. Your body will ache to be given that attention from the black man, and you will ache for his babies. Go. Go tonight. Don't wait. Africa is calling . . . . . . . .

  • Elapsed time, new love, increased partying, new interests, fresh perspective. Any or all of those (and in any combination) will cure the problem of focusing too much on the ex. That, or just going over to where he lives . . . and killing him. :->

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