Wanting to change

Well, all my life I've been known as the "nice person". I get bullied a lot so I just try being nice to people... I've been bullied since kindergarten, but the worst started in about 2nd grade when my "friend" started beating me up... We were playing soccer and I guess I did something wrong that she didn't like and so she grabbed me by the back of my head and started slamming my face into a brick wall... Then threw me to the ground and started kicking and punching me..."kids will be kids" the teachers would say. And when I came home that day with a b***** face and bruises my parents talked to the school, but the girl said I started I it so I was the one that got into trouble... everyone just believed her instead...my parents didn't even believe me.... So after that she still harassed me but I got enough courage to leave her... I didn't have anybody for quite a few years... I got bullied still on a day to day basis... My parents never did anything about it so I assumed they didn't care.. I finally got another friend around 6th grade, we lasted about a year then she for some reason told her parents I beat her up, and quit talking to me... At the beginning of 7th grade I became really depressed and became suicidal, I attempted twice... I just felt really alone, I had no real friends that cared, no guys liked me, I'm fat, I'm ugly, I guess I'm kind of smart... But I'm very insecure and shy... I'm not suicidal anymore but I'm taken advantage of so much and I cry almost every night.. All I'll ever be is nice. I'm a freshman now, and my "friends" just use me... They come to me with their problems and I help them of course but no ones ever there for me... I feel used and unwanted.. I'm sorry though, I should not complain.. Many more people have it worse and I know that. I just kind of wish I had somebody to be there for me every once in a while... I've only opened up to a couple people.. And they all left me.. Which caused me to have trust issues... So now I'm left alone with friends that don't care, and my family just telling me to "grow up" or when I come home beaten up "just shake it off" "kids will be kids" I am tired of letting people push me around. I really want to stand up for myself but I'm so insecure and shy it feels impossible...if there's anybody out there that has any advice, could you help me maybe?.. It's a lot to ask but I really need help, I can not go into high school this way. I need to change and be less of a pushover. So any advice or tips you have would be much appreciated :) thank you:) and if any of you actually read all of this, bless your heart, thank you so much :)


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  • Dear child, I am sorry you are going through this!

    I have been there - til one girl in 7th grade taught me how to not be a target- you gotta fake it til you make it. If someone threatens you don't back down - 9 x's out if 10 they won't fight you if you stand up to them, and if you have to fight GIVE IT YOUR ALL!

    Stay as neutral as possible, stop letting people believe you are so nice! You don't have to be mean, just act like nothing affects you.

    ..... And I wish I had gotten this one when I was younger but didn't ' and it works, WALK AWAY FROM TROUBLE, lie if you have to.

    Teenagers are the worst!

    Your parents should be doing more and I'm sorry for that!

    Everyday when your brushing your teeth repeat this in your mirror!

    I am confident, strong, and I attract good people!
    People with bad intentions cannot harm me!

    ...... And if all else fails open a can of whoopass!

    My friend who advised me now works for the FBI, she knew her stuff!

  • I'm so sorry you've been dealing with all of this for so long. I'm sure you have heard this before, that it does get better. And it will, but right now you have to go through some really uncomfortable and downright s***** times. But how can you make it better now? The only person that matters is you and the people you care about. Those other's that think it's fun to call others names are not worth your time. Walk away. Truthfully, Never give power to any of the words they say to you. (I know, easy to say..)..but really they are looking for a rise. And if you look at it from a different perspective, they are probably just so insecure and unhappy that they feel they must bully someone else. Of course, they could just be a******* to be an a******. But..again, you are who we need to concentrate on in a positive way. First..never say a negative thing about yourself again. This is a hard one. It's one thing for people to bully you, but for you to bully yourself..that stops today. Okay. You are beautiful and intelligent and people like you. Don't forget this. If you aren't happy with your weight, start some healthy new routines this summer. It's amazing how exercise and eating right will make you feel and look. In high school, join groups/club/sports so that you can meet other people. If you don't want to be a pushover, exercise your right to say No. It doesn't have to be an angry no..just really firm. That whatever is happening, is not okay for you. Speak up. It's hard when you're young and don't feel as though you can speak up. As for your friends..you may just be overly sensitive. Sometimes we take on roles in our friendships. There's always the one that people go to for advice, and sounds like you're it. But maybe if you turn to your friends and say, I really need your help. If they don't know what to say, just ask them to listen. They may surprise you. Please seek help if you're really depressed,okay. You're worth it. Hope this helps..

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