I need to be in pain

When i was a kid i was often abused by my parents & in school i had to get use to it in order to survive now that i am an adult if i am not in some type of pain every day i feel like a piece of my life has been taken or no longer exist's
i know that i need help but at the same time i don't want help.

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  • Am truly sorry ur family and school were so cruel to u. But there might be a safe and kina healthy way out of feeling worth less maybe try counseling or might be odd or weird to suggest and s & m relation ship* slave and master* with a controled invorment u can get the pain u were use to but with somebody that lovesand cares about u and will stop if asked to.

  • Try to feel good it's a much better feeling ...
    I know at first it will feel strange and humbling but if you do it more
    and more it becomes easy ..
    What I do is when the sun is out I go outside and feel the sun on me
    it feels good !
    When I take a shower and feel the water on my face it feels good .
    When I listen to music I enjoy it feels good .
    When go for a walk it feels good

    If you really want to heal start by loving yourself in a healthy way
    Take care of your body inside and out and clear your mind , for me I asked God into my life and I now have inner peace and love that emptiness is
    gone forever .

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