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Unwanted Baby Fever :(
So I'm 21, in college, about to be a senior. And I have baby fever!! Ever time I see a baby, I thinks it so adorable. I raised my little brother from infancy, so I know what it takes to raise a baby while in highschool. I first felt this feeling the last time me and the guy I'm seeing (long distance) spent the night together and the condom ripped but we didn't realize until later. I was extremely nervous at first, but then I started to accept if I was pregnant. I ended up not being (thank the lord!!) but now I can't shake the feeling of wanting a baby. I DON'T want a baby right now, I know a baby would just mess up my life right now. I know now is NOT the time for a child, but I can't shake the feeling. There is no reason for me to think I'm pregnant right now, but I still find myself hoping my period is late. But I DO NOT WANT A BABY at the same time I do! I just had to get that off my chest cause I feel like I'm going crazy :(
What you're feeling is common. The excitement of a baby is like you're starting a new beginning. However, you'll quickly realize that what changes is your self-perception from being an independent woman to someone who is more of a servant who depends on their bf/spouse for money. Being a mother is the worst choice I've made. One of my kids is mentally handicapped, which means I'll have to care for him for the rest of my life and will always be afraid that someone will bully him. Please stop idealizing motherhood. There are so many variables that can make it feel like penance. I won't lie. I hate my life.