Shouldn't have dug up the past

I'm almost 50. Married with kids. I was cleaning out some boxes recently from my childhood that I haven't seen in 25 years. I found a box with an old girlfriends stuff. I dated her when I was 23. I was young and stupid and broke up with her because I really lost interest in her. Finding this stuff was a huge shock. So many memories flooding back. It's not that I still love her. It's that I feel like a stupid a****** for the way I weaseled out of the relationship.
I tried to find her though social media but no luck. I doubt she would talk to me even if I did find her. I facebooked her sister but that's a long shot. This feeling has been going on for more than 2 months and I want some sort of closure. I was a d*** Natalie. I should have stayed with you. I have no idea who I was back then and don't like who I was either.

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