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I'm scared, I admit it.
I'm the in control, always smiling, always joking, always laughing, manager of a store and, until recently, star pupil. Always cheering others up and on, never afraid of anything, making light of every situation, people know me as an all around happy, chipper person. The truth? I have Stage 2 H.S. and I'm terrified to my CORE of hitting Stage 3. The pain, the inability to do things I do now, the holes in my skin that will make me look like I'm melting, possible inability to have kids. It's the most scared I've ever been. I'll be dead but alive to feel it. I don't talk to anyone about it, and so on top of being so scared I have nightmares, I'm also very much alone.
You need to find someone to talk to about this. There must be some type of support group out there. no one can help you if you keep all your fears and pain inside. Trust me, I know what that's like. You're not alone.