I never knew
My father was abusive to me, mostly mentally and emotionally but sometimes physically as well. When I came out to him as gay, he treated me even worse and all but disowned me. We haven't spoken in a few years, but recently I found out from my mother that he was molested by an uncle of his. My mother says she fully believes this is what caused him to be so deeply homophobic. All my life I never knew. I just thought he was a product of his environment, he comes from a very gay-unfriendly state. Knowing this now, I can appreciate the fact that although he abused me in almost every way imaginable and left me with deep mental scars and broken social programming that's taking me years to undo, he never, never laid a hand on me sexually. Who knows, maybe because of the abuse he suffered he had the temptation and resisted. I will never forgive him for the damage he has done to me, but I understand a lot more about him now.