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I'm so depressed
I'm so depressed but no one notices. I'm not trying to get attention but not even my best friend does. None of my friends can see or understand what I'm going through. I've been depressed before and my parents got really mad at me for it, so I can even ask them for therapy. I think I might start cutting again. I have a had a few suicidal thoughts.
Have you tried killing yourself? I'm not saying that to be rude but I don't think you can be saved. Your no value to anyone so just ** off and die.
By the time you read this you mivht of already start cutting, but if you haven't don't. I know what your going through and cutting isn't the right thing.if your friend is truly your best then tell them, they'll understand. Maybe even say they had noticed but didn't know what to do.
I seem to go in waves. Feeling great for some time days even weeks. Then something will happen and I will become depressed. In that depressed state no one seems to notice let alone understand or be sympathetic or helpful.
When I think back on it, in the happy times, I realise that I slip into this huge self absorbent sulk. I feel like others should recognise and react but they don't. Its like a self fulfilling prophesy. Almost like my brain likes to say "I told you so". Almost like my brain likes being depressed.
But then when I come to my senses I realise that I don't see when others feel sad either. It's not like I look at my friends and size up who is happy or sad or somewhere in-between.
What I try now to do is make a commitment when I am happy that when I am sad that I should get over the fact that no one recognises it. Sometimes I manage to do that and sometimes I just continue with the sulk.