49 year old weakling

I had been a smoker for many years, and in the last ten have not exercised in any way. The combination of these factors, plus getting older has resulted in me becoming a total weakling. I have zero muscle definition. My arms are like twigs. I cannot do a single pull up, sit up or push up. I can no longer even curl a 15 lb. weight.

All of this was not lost on my wife, who would ride me endlessly about how weak I had become, and constantly nag me to do something about it. She would often state blatantly that she was stronger than me, and could kick my ass in any physical challenge. I refused to take the bait, because I suspected she was right.

I realized I needed to try to quit smoking, and to start exercising. I felt like I needed some motivation, so I told my wife if she could beat me at wrestling, I would quit smoking the next day and start walking every night.

She proposed we wrestle that night for 10 minutes, with the winner to be determined by number of pins in that time period. I agreed.

I started out ok, holding my own for the first minute and a half until she pinned me, putting her knees and full weight on my biceps, resulting in me yelling uncle and begging her to get off.

It went downhill from there. The time it was taking her to pin me was getting shorter and shorter, until during the last 2 minutes, she was pinning me at will. At the end of the 10 minutes, she had pinned me 11 times.

I was utterly humiliated, but it was effective motivation. I quit the next day and started walking. I requested a re-match in one week to try to redeem myself.

The day of the re-match arrived, but I would have to wait for redemption. I ran out of gas a lot earlier in the latch, and wound up getting pinned 15 times.

This continued for several weeks, in which I never won once, and was always pinned at least 10 times. I finally discontinued it last week, because 4 minutes into it she had pinned me 7 times, and I really wasn't interested in allowing her to set a new record. Plus, I couldn't take her taunting, gloating and laughing at me.

So I've accepted it. I am a weakling and I need to live with it.

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  • Well get off your damn computer and go exercise

  • The reasons (well, the "good" reasons) for quitting smoking and for improving your level of fitness really have nearly nothing to do with your ability (or lack of ability) to best your wife in any particular physical contest. You already know that, of course, so I say it just as a predicate. You've already begun the long and difficult process of recovering from the depths of the most intractable addiction in humankind (I have friends who've said that quitting drugs was nothing, when compared to quitting smoking) and reversing the course of years of physical inactivity. PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP. You're already further along the road than most people who've been in your position, and there is every reason to believe (not just hope) that your condition will improve to the point where you'll be encouraged by the changes you'll begin to see in your body and, more importantly, in your health. You can't make your wife support that process, but you can avoid having her criticize it: no more wrestling. Good luck to you.

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