Contamplating the fight

I need other people's opinions...

This is not another s** confession, so if you are into that kind of stuff do not read further...

I had a fight with my father.
I am a 25 year old girl. I live at my parents' house. I am independent and I have my own floor, but its still their house. They are the only family I have in the city, everyone else is some place else, other city, other country.

I usually spend up to 1 hour daily at my parents' floor, we either eat together or have a coffee together. Its like a daily routine after work. Just to hang out for a while.
Last time I was at their place, my mom and I were joking and laughing a lot. Because we were so loud my father volumed up the TV. We did not notice it at that moment. It lasted for a few minutes. When we figured that the TV is too loud my mom said: why did you volumed it up so much?
He then snapped at us. I said there is no need to yell. He then snapped at me. He yelled. And cursed. The tone of his voice was terrifying.
It all happen out of the blue.
I said: okay so this is how its gonna be. And then I left.

Now we don't speak. I don't go to their place when he is home. I have not seen him for three days now. My mom communicates with him only briefly.
I don't intend to communicate with him any more unless he apologizes. But he will not apologize. HE HAS NEVER EVER IN HIS LIFE APOLOGIZED FOR ANYTHING, EVER. So he will most likely not apologize for this either.
I would like to smooth things over, but I can't. What is most likely to happen is that I start visiting them again, for coffee or hangouts, and to start some kind of communication.. But I just can't. I feel so hurt. And I want him to apologize to me for snapping at me for no reason. I feel like we are wasting time being angry at each other, when we were blessed with everything to fully enjoy this life. I am not sure what he thinks or how he feels about this.

Its so sad. All of this.


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  • Stupid advice to pretend and hurt youself. Sounds like advice from a 5 year old. You claim to be independent but you live in their house and visit them everyday having dinner, coffee, etc. im sure your parents dont mind. However being that age a decade ago it seems you are not independent. You are a pathetic mooch feeling bad for yourself. Im sure your father had a long day with crap on his mind. He was unwinding. The fact that he turned up the volume and you knowing thay you were being too loud. Does he really need to get off his ass and tell you to keep it down???

    His house his rules. Respect it or gtfo... O btw i know this is not a s** confession. But he maybe wanted to get a relaxing bj from your mom and Pound the fock out of her. You were there just c*** blocking.

  • I agree its not good idea to pretend to hurt my self, Id never do such a thing.
    I am staying at OUR house (its a family house from my grand grand father) because its convenient for me, Im not paying the rent and its in the center. The house is always empty as we all go to work. Its not crowded. So, Id say your arguments are invalid, the place is huge and if my dad wanted to get some quiet time he could have gone to bed room, office, kitchen, porch. Anyhow... we have different kind of problem, and it certainly is not the property or the space. Funny how while Im dealing with some abstract problems someone somewhere is reasoning with it in a very practical and materialistic manner.

  • It is sad. And now you have to be the adult. Put the petty stuff to bed and go down and ask to talk to your dad. Apologize for being loud that day. But then tell him how you felt and that you were hurt by his reaction. You never know, maybe he was frustrated by something that happened that day. Or maybe he felt excluded by you and your mom..who knows. Offer up a solution and tell him the nexttime that happens to not be so passive aggressive and to just ask us to pipe down and you will oblige. This is not a reason to not talk to him again. That sounds a little dramatic. And although he is your father and should be the first one to apolgoize, he may be super stubborn and so you must make the effort. But seriously, say your peace and move on from this. Life is short. S*** happens all the time and if this is the worse fight you and your parents have, be grateful.

  • Thank you for your answer. The talk did not go so well as he ignored me and kept staring at his computer. I was in the room, apologizing, and asking if we could talk, but nothing, I got silence. So I stopped visiting them, we are not hanging out at their place anymore. When we meet in the evening I say hello and I walk by to my apartment. Its ridiculously odd. I would usually stop by and ask how was your day at work, do you need anything, or tell them all about mine, but, now we are not doing that anymore.
    Maybe things will change in time, but right now this is how it is.

  • Pretend to hurt yourself. I don't think your father would be so cold hearted then.... Its just an suggestion.

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