I have been working in the s** industry

I have been working in the s** industry for about 8 years (with a 3 year break in between). so eight years off and on (if you will).
I started out with stripping and got dangerously more and more in over my head as the years went on.
I am trying to get completly out now as i have a life that i am living that no longer has room for such work.
I am in graduate school and i am going to be a psychologist. I have a long term boyfriend whom I love and do not have an open relationship contract with him.
I am mourning the loss of my Self that i lost each time I let a p**** inside of me.
I turned my last trick last Monday and I hated myself so much at that time for doing such a deed that I didn't ahve the long time John use a condom. He's got a small p**** and doens't e******** due to prostate surgery but i'm still nervous not only of potential other STI's that i could have gotten but also for disrepsecting mySelf and my relationship.
I am sorry and I am asking for forgiveness.

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  • you are forgiven. we all have skeletons in our closets

  • I agree. Everyone makes mistakes and if you make a promise to yourself that fateful Monday was the last time you'll ever do this, then just move on with life and pursue your dreams.

    The fact that you want to get out of that industry makes you a better person and I am sure that you will be a great psychologist someday. As a matter of fact, your past might even prove itself to be of help to you in this industry. Imagine how the other women who do this feel / have felt! You could be of extra help to them because you might've gone through similar exp, or feelings.

    See, you never really lose yourself, honey and the fact that you want to go on another path is proof enough of that. Be happy and just forgive yourself.

    You don't need to ask me for forgiveness. You did nothing to me. Just go to a quiet spot, perhaps somewhere in nature, breathe deeply, take in the beautiful, serene scenery and, when you feel relaxed and ready, say "self, I forgive you. I can move on with life."

    Then go on your merry way and enjoy what's left of your life. The past can only haunt you if you allow it to. That's not who you are anymore. Believe me, some of us have done worse things; no reason to beat yourself up for such things. You're a beautiful person who has another dream now--use your energy to pursue it, not to dwell in the past!

    Hope I was of help,

  • I forgive you. Everyone makes mistakes in their lives, you made yours now you can move on and better yourself. Take care of youraelf from now on and go see a doctor. It is hard standing on your feet alone I know. Get thorugh school so you won't have to degrade yourself ever again. I don;'t know you but I feel your pain.

  • So why would you do it? You've got a boyfriend and a career, what else do you want?

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