Fell in love with best friends wife, and best friend

I was never expecting this to happen. I have a best friend who I've known since I was very young. We are the way best of friends. He's damn cool and totally non judgmental. His wife I've known since high school and we did not get a long well. I had a rough life and have changed a lot since I was a kid. My wife and I started hanging out with them a lot lately and today I realized I'm in love with his wife. It's not like s** love, although she is sorta hot. But I mean like who she is. Confident, powerful, really smart (beats me at trivia games, she's the only one who can). Great mom and pretty good friend.

Truth is I don't "want" her. I mean it, I want my wife cause she is also incredibly awesome. But I can't stop thinking about my friends wife. I dream about her a lot too. But I don't want to give up the friendship. In fact the friendship means more to me than anything.

But I want to save the friendship with me and his wife too. I want to NOT be in love with her any more.

This sucks

P.S. I'm totally not gay, If I was it probably wouldn't be for him anyways. Also I've got nothing wrong with it. got friends who are and I love them! Please keep this on track, no trolling about gay, it's disrespectful and rude.

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  • It is not hard to be attracted to people with good qualities--it is totally natural. If you feel like you are obsessing too much about your friend's wife, I would roll back the friendship for a while. Just create enough distance so that you can get your head back.

    I wouldn't beat yourself up about your feelings. You are human. Just respect the boundaries.

  • It just sounds like you have a lot of respect and admiration for your best friend and his wife. And maybe it is an eye opener considering how you felt about her in h.s. vs. who she is now. I'm not certain that this is anything for you to be concerned about. The boundary lines aren't and haven't been blurred. You can and should love your friends. They're your family outside of your family. Maybe you're reading too much into the feelings that you're having. If it's a real issue, maybe back off a little on how much time you guys spend with one another. And concentrate on spending more time with your wife. Just add a little balance back into your life.

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