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Confused?!

I am in a great relationship with another man. We are both from Ireland and we never argue. I love this man. But prior to this relationship I used to put photos up on Instagram and had over 4k followers (nothing too revealing at all regards photos, not sexual but flirty) anyway got talking to a guy from America and we phoned each other a lot to cut a long story short. I adore this other guy too even though I never met him. I fantasize about him and think of him daily. This makes me feel guilty. I have more or less cut contact with this other guy since I started my relationship but in my mind I often think I'd love to meet this other guy someday.....I feel bad even writing this as my partner is amazing. So what the ** is wrong with me!?! ( I'm gay btw and 30)

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