I destroyed my fathers treasured memories

My parents got divorced when I was four years old. My mother only asked for child support which she got sometimes and sometimes she didn't. I didn't see or hear from him until I was thirty when I looked him up.

We got along pretty good although the feelings of abandonment was always with me when I visited him. I caught him in some lies when he tried to blame my mother and my grandparents for him not contacting me.

To make a long story short he was married three more times. His fourth marriage was apparently a success as it lasted until his death.

He died in 2003 and he left everything to his fourth wife except some pictures and some letters of commendation for some services he made to the community while a police officer. I also have a hand drawn picture drawn for him by one of Walt Disneys prominent cartoonists. It may be worth money to a collector.

I have his sterling silver retirement badge and a picture of him by his first car in his nice police uniform.

His typed commendations I put through the shredder. All those good deeds for other people while ignoring me caused me to want to destroy them. He has a picture of a small Mexican child he read to while in the Kwanis club. Well he never read to me.

I destroyed all of his pictures including the one with the lttle illegal immigrant Mexican boy.

My father was cremated and is in an urn over two thousand miles from where I live. I'll never go there.

He was a veteran of a war and I did get his flag that they drape over the coffin. I gave that away. I have no use for it.

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  • These are tough feelings, but understandable. I don't think you did anything wrong. If you feel troubled to the point where you feel bad about yourself or find that your feelings about your father are holding you back, I would see a therapist. It sounds like you got rid of the physical baggage, but maybe not the emotional baggage.

  • You destroyed all that? Are you much happier now?

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