Another Dead End?

After years of dating around casually, I finally found a man who makes me happy. He is fascinating, kind, sexy, and non-judgmental, and he takes very good care of me. We are deeply in love, and we've talked very seriously about getting married.

I feel very ready to get married. I have a good job, my finances are in order, I've given myself time to gain life experience, etc. I've told him that, as soon as he proposes to me, I'll say yes. But it's been years and he hasn't proposed, and even though he says he wants to marry me eventually, he keeps telling me that it can't be soon because he's not making the kind of money he wants to be making, he has a lot of debt, and his credit is terrible.

I'm worried that this is never going to change. He keeps saying he's looking for a new job and that he's going to meet with my accountant about getting his finances in order, but it still hasn't happened. Meanwhile, my heart is breaking because I really think he's the one, but I don't know if I can wait around forever for him to get his act together.

I don't need a big flashy ring or a fancy wedding. All I want is for us to be together. But what if this is another dead end?

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  • Sounds like he is a dreamer and buying time with you until he becomes the man he wants to become.

    Money makes men feel weak if they are not providing more than the woman. Allow him his space to be a man, leave and find someone that is ready for you.

    This man may never be ready. He is selling you a dream to keep you close.

  • Actions speak louder than words. But one thing that is true is that men do define themselves by what they do. So if he isn't working that could be a factor in him needing to wait. Men want to know they can provide for a family. Just depends on how much longer you want to wait. I agree with you on the worried part..especially why he hasn't followed through with meeting with an accountant, because how hard is that? A flashy ring and fancy wedding make for nice photos but it doesn't mean you will have a strong marriage. As you said, you can be happy with something small and affordable. But the bigger red flag is the follow through..because that could play into other things once you're married. And problems don't magically go away just because you get married. Maybe couples counseling is start to really see what page you both are really on.

  • Sounds like he's full of excuses!

    People act on what they want period - he's a liar!

  • Lying witch

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