Stepkids and how to deal...

Gotta oldest adult Stepson is having a surprise birthday party thrown for him by my wife's niece. I was asked to attend. My adult stepson and his Sister both are very resentful towards me and we have a HORRIBLE relationship.

Knowing how bad the relationship is between us,I'm considering not going to this surprise party,as I don't want to ruin things. I also don't want to let down my wife's niece as she invited me...I'm not sure how my wife feels about it or if she's even thought about it. If I go,I potentially ruin a birthday...If I don't go my wife may or may not get mad at me for it. She may or may not support me not going to keep things peaceful.She says her kids come first in her life. I don't have any issue with her kids except they are freeloaders and VERY unappreciative. I wouldn't start any crap if I went,but I'm afraid me just being there would kill I go as requested or do I respectfully decline the invitation?

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  • Is your niece aware of the relationship between you and your stepson? If she does, then she may either be inviting you because it's polite to include you or perhaps because of a conversations she and your step son maybe have had about you..Maybe he's ready to bury the hatchet. You could ask your wife what she thinks and do whatever she would like. And if you go, be cordial and polite. Greet your step son and wish him a happy birthday. Do not say anything (even jokingly) to anyone that would be construed as negative or derogatory about your step kids. Buy a really nice appropriate gift with no strings. Let it be the olive branch. He's getting older, maybe there is a potential to mend relationships. I agree with the comment that you have to be the bigger person. Hope for the best and prepare for the worst. If you are there and he asks you to leave..just say no worries, I understand and have a great night.

  • You go as requested. Sometimes you have to be bigger than your family. Go, be polite (but not effusive), say the right things, and then . . . have a drink and ignore the miserable little a*******.

  • Stupid f****** c****

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